When the lockdown began, I would wake up in the morning worrying about not having anything to do. Then, in a snap, I was worrying about my dad in the hospital. It changed my perspective. I woke up every morning just to look at my phone every 30 minutes, waiting for a text from doctors. When there was no text, it was a good day. It meant that nothing bad happened.We lost all communication after that. I messaged him “I love you” but never got a reply.
And just like that, he was gone.I was asleep when I got the hardest phone call of my life. When my phone rang, I ran out of the house to take the call and the doctor told me that my dad’s heart had stopped beating. I begged for them to resuscitate him as long as they could. After 20 minutes, nothing happened. I asked for an additional two minutes. I was granted the two minutes, but he never woke up.
Our dad lived a full life. He was a happy-go-lucky guy who danced to his own tune and told us to always bring our own sunshine. One day, he decided he wanted to grow out his hair so he did. He wanted to buy a big bike, so he did. Once, he picked me up from school and said he wanted to go to Pampanga, a province near Manila, just to eat crickets. So we did.The last time I saw him, he was alive and smiling. Then he was just ashes.
I miss my number one supporter, my number one fan. Whenever I had problems, my dad always had the answers. Now, I’ll have to find them on my own. I’m just thankful he taught me well.I have one more year in law school and have to work towards following his lead. That’s what keeps me going. My parents are separated and with my dad gone, I’m the only one left to help my siblings. Aside from providing for my family, I want to be like my dad, and serve the country in my own modest way.My dad was always my hero but I didn’t know that he was a hero to so many other people too. I find solace in that now, as cliché as it may sound. I just wish I had the chance to thank him.