The invocation of the VFA and Pemberton's perceived immunity immediately brought long-lingering resentments to the surface for many Filipinos. Only one American service member had ever been tried under the VFA. In 2005, Daniel Smith, a lance corporal in the Marines also stationed in Olongapo, was accused of raping a Filipina named Suzette "Nicole" Nicolas. He had allegedly carried her into a van while she was drunk, assaulted her as several other soldiers watched and cheered him on, and dumped her on a nearby pier. A civilian trial was held, but press was banned from entering the courtroom, and the Americans maintained custody of Smith at the US embassy throughout. In December 2006, Smith was found guilty and sentenced to life in prison, but he remained at the embassy as he appealed the case. Although the Supreme Court ruled two years later that US soldiers convicted of a crime should be detained in Philippine facilities, Smith never returned to prison. In April 2009, Nicolas recanted her testimony and left the Philippines for the United States with an American residency visa and a settlement, from Smith, of 100,000 pesos (about $2,260). The appeals court immediately reversed Smith's conviction, and he left the country less than 24 hours later.Pemberton assured his friend that he was serious. "I think I killed a he-she," he said.
When I first heard about Laude's murder, I felt a kind of identification with her. I also grew up in the Philippines and was assigned male at birth; it wasn't until I left for the United States, at 15, that I decided to become a woman. I have often felt as though I would have been bakla had I stayed behind in the Philippines, not recognizing the possibility of a trans identity. Laude, 13 years younger than I am, was among a generation of trans Filipina women who have led much of their lives online and have been deeply influenced by American media. Although Filipinos did not understand her desire to be recognized as a woman, she learned on her own that it was an option for her and chose to pursue it. "Filipinos generally see people like Jennifer as the most extreme form of bakla," Fontanos told me. "The best thing that has come out of the Laude case has been that it has forced the country to confront the existence of transgender women."The notion that someone considered male would identify as a woman instead of being content to live as a third-gender person struck many Filipinos as a fundamental lie.
"They're banning me from the Philippines for disrespect and gross arrogance," said Laude's fiancé. "Yet they're protecting the man who murdered my wife just because he's American."
Jamille focused on my unadorned appearance. "She doesn't even have to try to be a woman," she told Charis as we walked together. "It's because she's had the surgery. No one is going to doubt her."Unable to speak to Gelviro, we eventually motioned goodbye as she shopped at a Payless shoe store. The girls needed to get ready for a booking that night. Charis wanted to pay for a motel because they hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, but she hesitated because their clients weren't a sure thing.I told them they could shower and nap at the hotel room where I was staying with my partner; we had two beds. In the cab on the way there, they told me they were meeting some Chinese businessmen at the airport that night. The men didn't know they were trans. "They go away if we tell them," Charis said. They'd both had close calls with clients who found out about their status. "Most of the time they just laugh and don't want to have sex," Jamille said. "But sometimes they threaten to beat us and we run."Charis joked that Jamille is attracted to Filipino men who, because they see her as bakla rather than a woman, expect her to support them in exchange for their affection. While foreigners pay for the pleasure of Charis and Jamille's company, masculine Filipino men are the ones who expect compensation, because they are thought to be debasing themselves if they admit to engaging in what is perceived as homosexual activity.The two women talked about feeling lonely and having no one to meet their emotional needs. They have to pay for the company of Filipino men yet are unable to find foreign men who are willing to accept them once they discover their trans status. They admired Laude because she became the exception, which made her death even more unbelievable. "She was the most confident out of all of us," Charis said.They didn't learn until the morning after Laude's death what had happened to her. Jamille, who was closer to Laude because they were roommates, also found out that Jairn Rose, the friend that Pemberton confessed to, had been her customer that same night. "He was really kind to me," Jamille said. "The weight is still so heavy. I can't believe his friend killed my friend."Laude had wanted to have sex-reassignment surgery even though her fiancé thought her body was fine the way it was. Jamille and Charis also looked to surgery as the solution to their problems, as it would allow them to live as women without needing to hide any body parts. Yet the procedure, which costs about $10,000, is far beyond the means of these women, who normally earn around $40 per encounter.As afternoon turned to evening, the two women began preparing for their clients, putting away their casual clothes in favor of skimpy dresses and lightening their skin with makeup. While Charis seemed secure in her femininity, having had one of the men as a customer on a previous visit, Jamille expressed concern that her skin would be too dark and her face too masculine."It's not like this is the life we wanted," said Jamille as she lined the borders of her eyes with dark pencil. "But it's the only way we can live."She went off to go meet a man who didn't know she was trans, taking the same risk that had ended her friend's life. After that man, she planned to meet another, and then another, praying she wouldn't end up unlucky. In the meantime, she hoped that Pemberton would be held accountable for Laude's death. But she knew that he would be tried for murder under American protection and away from media scrutiny—behind closed doors, the way Laude died.They'd both had close calls with clients who found out about their status. "Most of the time they just laugh and don't want to have sex," Jamille said. "But sometimes they threaten to beat us and we run."