I’ve never caught a flight to Ibiza. But I’ve seen enough plane videos to feel like I have. You know the ones: Excited men cutting up lines at the back of a Ryanair flight and offering the goods to the somehow neutral flight attendant. The people caught shagging in the toilet of an easyJet flight from Luton.
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Or how about the latest masterpiece, where a man’s suspected k-hole caused his Liverpool to Ibiza flight to deviate to France. Here he was guided off the plane at Bordeaux by surprisingly good-humoured police to rapturous acclaim:Oh, and there’s more: The roughly 70 Scots who, in 2022, drank and made merry up and down the aisle? And who could forget the Scottish lads in 2019, who spilled drinks all over the shop, called a member of the cabin crew a “nonce” and made a nine year old cry? There are many, many other disastrous UK to Ibiza flights knocking about the internet, but you get it. Whatever the British city of origin, it all amounts to chaos if the destination is Ibiza. Sure, the UK to Las Vegas flightpath has its boisterous moments, too, but we’re talking less than three hours here, compared to over ten hours – it’s clear who this crown belongs too.In attempts to curtail this in-flight lewdness, UK airlines have banned consumption of duty free alcohol to minimal effect. According to recent Civil Aviation Authority figures, there were 1,028 incidents of disruptive behaviour on UK flights in 2022, up from 373 in 2019.
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Brits are bad/good at this. So we thought we’d ask you about your experiences. Here are eight of your most outlandish UK to Ibiza in-flight hijinks – buckle up.
‘The guy who’d offered the coke on the plane dropped a whole bottle of gin when we were walking through security’
‘The Scousers were just banging lines’
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“Then they're all absolutely off the face, like dribbling on themselves almost for the next hour, two hours. Everyone's got sunglasses on. Just a bit of a chaotic one. No one got caught for anything, though. Anytime anyone came near they covered it up. I mean, it was pretty obvious, if you know, but maybe not to everyone else. The vibe was actually really quite fun.” — Sam, 26, London, flew from Gatwick to Ibiza“It was a weekend evening flight so we knew it would potentially be a party plane (fine with that). People were passing duty free vodka down the plane and everyone was drinking from it. We were sat quite close to the front row and saw two women going into the toilet. They came out, and a bit later someone else went in and came straight out saying someone had shat in the sink. They had to close the toilet for the rest of the flight.” — Vicky Carter, 25, flew from East Midlands to Ibiza‘They stood up on the seats, banged the seat backs and chanted’“I was with my parents on the early morning flight. We were sat near a group of 10-15 lads who were pretty drunk already. As soon as we took off, all of them queued up to go to the bathroom (presumably to remove and sniff whatever they had hidden, ouch). They were battered. They had portable speakers in their hands and refused to move, blocking the aisle. The air hostesses couldn’t get past and the food/ drinks trolleys never came. They stood up on the seats, banged the seat backs and chanted.
‘Someone shat in the sink’
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“Everyone found it pretty funny, even my parents, but the worst part for me was them being rude to the staff. I don’t mind a rowdy flight at the right time or route, but making sexual or degrading comments to the air hostesses who are just trying to do their job is really unfair, IMO. It was wild just watching them have no control.” — Kelly Washington, 26, flew from Manchester to Ibiza“On our flight, a lady on a hen do in front was complaining to her friends about how boring the flight was. She said that everyone needed to cheer the fuck up: ‘It's an Ibiza flight!’ Every time the crew made this announcement: ‘Remember no smoking, vaping, consuming your own alcohol or any other substances is illegal and if anyone's caught we will be landing at the closest airport,’ the hen do booed. I can safely say I've never been on a flight that's said that before. It was 3PM on a Monday!” — Grace, 26, flew from Manchester to Ibiza‘The air stewards didn’t have a clue what to do, so they picked him up and laid him in the aisle’“When we got on the flight, there was a group of guys who had bought all these bottles of one-litre Smirnoffs from duty free; they were swigging from them the whole flight. When we came close to landing, one of the guys had fully passed out in his chair and was totally unresponsive. The air stewards didn’t have a clue what to do, so they picked him up and laid him in the aisle. But that meant we couldn’t get off the plane because we were behind him. So we sat there for like two hours waiting for medical staff – people started getting rowdy.” — Ellie, 28, flew from Luton to Ibiza
‘It was 3PM on a Monday!’
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