Photo by Stefan Höglund
We used to think nudists were naked all the time. After talking to Ove Svensson, who maintains one of the many Scandinavian websites that lists nude beaches, and his friend Anna, we learnt that the only time they really strip down is when they go swimming in the summer. They’re naked around the house and in their back yard too, but it’s not like they go to the movie theatres with their ding-dongs out.
Every summer, nudists (or naturists as they prefer to call themselves) gather at huge nude beaches and campsites. The only thing that completely separates naturists from regular naked people is the big amount of accessories they lug around. Even though they love being nude, their wardrobes are bursting at the seams. The only things they exclude from their lives is underwear.
After the talk with our new naturist friends we got the drummer from the band Ho Chi Minh Howlers, Dag, who was OK with stripping down in front of an audience, to take off his clothes and try out the accessories in order to give us the low down on what’s hot and what’s not in naturist approved fashion. Here are the top eight most common things you’ll see naturists wearing.
BELLY ROPE
Anna: “These are pretty common on nude beaches in France. It’s a piece of jewellery that you wear around your waist, almost like a belt. They are usually thin and in gold, or they’re more like a thin leather belt. We don’t wear these in Sweden though. I don’t really understand what they’re for, you can’t even hold anything with them.”
Dag: “I didn’t really understand the belly rope, it just felt strange. I don’t think many people actually use these, and they aren’t even for guys anyway. It almost made me feel more naked than if I had been wearing nothing at all.”
T-SHIRT
Ove: “These are good for really sunny days. Sometimes the sun is just too much to handle and you need a shirt to save your skin. Most of the times we have beach umbrellas with us too, because you can’t stay naked in the sun all day. But some sunbathers love getting burnt by the sun. They will lie out all day and get roasted. It’s what they live for.”
Dag: “The T-shirt was kind of cool, but it felt uncomfortable wearing nothing else. I wasn’t really naked anymore, it was just like I had forgotten half of my clothes. Or like I was really eager to show off my scrotum. If you seriously think you’re going to get burned, but can’t stand covering your bottom, then sure. It’s a lot like a bike helmet—a good idea in theory, but kind of redundant in reality.”
WATER SHOES
Ove: “You definitely need these if you are going swimming on the west coast of Sweden, or anywhere that has a rocky beach. You don’t really need swim shoes on sandy beaches—we mostly go to sandy beaches—but a lot of people will wear them anyway.”
Dag: “I was surprised, but the water shoes were actually really nice. They made me feel like I still had my clothes on even though I was just wearing shoes. But I don’t like walking around barefoot anyway, so maybe it’s just me. I would never use these on sandy beaches though, I wouldn’t get the proper ‘sand between my toes’ feeling.”
SUNGLASSES
Anna: “I always wear sunglasses. It doesn’t really matter what they look like, just be careful about putting them down in the sand, they scratch easily.”
Dag: “The sunglasses were without a doubt the best of all the accessories. They made me feel a lot cooler, and they gave me the feeling of being able to look out from behind the sunglasses, without people being able to see me, which is good when you’re feeling extremely embarrassed about being naked. They felt like I didn’t need to put anything else on. The way I feel now, I could actually be all like ‘sunglasses, check’ and then I’d be good to go.”
PIERCING
Ove: “Every once in a while you see naturist with piercings, mostly in their nipples or belly buttons. I guess some might have their privates pierced, but since more than half of naturists are 50+, and another quarter are 70+, it’s not that big in our age group. But piercings did get really popular about five or 10 years ago. It was almost like a naturist fad. Before that it was tattoos, which came back in style after the piercings trend died out.”
Dag: “The piercings just felt small, ugly and stupid. I didn’t feel like a punk, even though they were supposed to be punk piercings. But if I was a nudist I think it would only be logical to pierce my dick, it’s the only subculture where I would actually be showing it off. Still looks dumb though.”
PURSE
Anna: “If you’re a naturist, you’re going to need a bag. There is no other way to carry your stuff around. Most people think we use fannypacks, but they don’t look too cool. It’s not as if we have no standards at all! Anyway, purses are great, especially the ones with lots of pockets so you can have a bunch of smaller things with you, like ChapStick or a little snack.”
Dag: “A bag for snacks and stuff? You don’t need snacks on the beach, there are usually small kiosks where you can buy ice cream and candy and snacks. And the rest of the stuff, I could just hold it in my hand or have it wrapped up in my beach towel. Chocolate melts on the beach.”
WRISTWATCH
Ove: “It doesn’t really matter what it looks like, but it’s always good to have one that is both sand- and water-proof. Mostly digital sports watches work just fine, because you can go swimming with them and they don’t cost that much either.”
Dag: “The watch felt boring. There are watches and clocks everywhere. I would just look at my cell phone.”
PATRICK CROTTY
For a list of nude beaches around Scandinavia, go to naturist.net.
