Do You Have a Message for Kim Jong-un?

Photo by petersnoopy

North Korea freaked out the entire Western world yesterday when they conducted their third major nuclear test. If you didn’t already know that and you’re now flapping around like a stressed flamingo, most informed people think these tests are just to ensure America doesn’t start fucking with NK, and aren’t part of a larger plan to implode the planet. But when a country as unstable and corrupt as North Korea starts waving its slowly engorging nuclear boner around, you can’t help but feel a little tense.

Is Kim Jong-un planning a global attack? Or is he just riffing off Ashton Kutcher in a totally intense episode of Punk’d? I’m yet to be invited into the KWP’s war room, so I took it to the next best place – the streets – and asked some people I found wandering around if they had a message for the leader of North Korea. There is a very, very limited chance he’ll ever read them, but at least his ears will be burning.

And have you seen those things? They’re huge.

VICE: Do you have a message for Kim Jong-un?
Rhian: It would probably be “What the fuck?”

Why? Why would you swear?
Well “North Korea”, “nuclear” and “news” are not really three words that you’d like to see in the same sentence, let’s be honest.

You wanna visit?
It’s not top of my tourism list, to be honest.

Do you have anything else to ask Kim Jong-un?
There have only ever been two nuclear bombs in the world ever. I mean, where do you possibly see it coming into use? Do you sleep at night? That’s a question.

I get your point, even if, factually speaking, you’re wrong.

Steven: Why are you doing this? Why don’t you feed your people?

Both valid. Would you ever visit North Korea?
Of course, of course. You’ve got to, because the more people that go there, the more open and understanding they become and they should be fine with the rest of the world.

Good luck getting in!

Alan: Carry on. We don’t care, really.

Bold. So you’re A-OK with nukes?
No, not really. They shouldn’t really test nuclear weapons. I was a member of the CND in the 80s so I’m totally opposed to nuclear weapons.

So, you do care.
Well, what do you do, do you go and invade every country that’s got opposing views to you?

Perhaps.

Jen: Sort your hair out, that’s basically it.

Cool. You fancy a holiday to North Korea?
No, I think it’s incredibly dangerous.

Okay. So should we blow them to smithereens?
I think that if people step in they’re just going to retaliate, so we’re in a lose-lose situation, like in Iran. I think it’s only a matter of time, to be honest. Miserable, isn’t it? But yeah, we have yet to see what they’re capable of, and I’m pretty shit scared.

You radiate optimism.

Peter: Not really.

Do you have any interest in visiting North Korea?
None whatsoever.

Do you have any feelings about anything at all?
Yes. Does Kim Jong-un want to have a nuclear force or is he just sabre rattling? It he just showing his power? Is he just trying to put himself in the news? Is there an agenda? What is his overall ambition?

There you are. You have plenty of questions, you’re overflowing with them. Do you think it’s right to cut the country off from the rest of the world with sanctions?
If that is what all the people want, fine, but I suspect it’s not what all the people want.

I think you’re on to something, Peter.

Previously – Should We Kill All the Urban Foxes?