Illustrations by Joana Avillez
This short story appears in the June 2015 Fiction Issue of VICE Magazine.
There was a mortician from Havre,
Who successfully washed a cadaver.
When they said, “That’s your talent,” he answered, “I doubt it,”
That roundabout person from Havre.
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There was an old man at DePaul:
Made disturbances down at the mall.
His beret was so tight that it made him turn white,
And they said, “Why’dja buy it so small?”
We saw a few artists from Bensonhurst,
But I’m not sure which one I should mention first.
This one guy we saw was unwilling to draw,
‘Cuz he wanted to sharpen his pencil first.
There was an old person from Flint,
Who was partially covered in lint.
When they said, “Why are you like this?” he got so self-righteous
They thought he would never relent.
