It is a widely held fact that Flo Rida is the least original mainstream rapper of the post-Vanilla Ice era. In fact, his only competition in this arena might just be Pitbull, who is as close as a human can get to being a Bud Light Lime-A-Rita tall boy. But within Flo Rida and Pitbull’s stupidity and terribleness, there is beauty. In their relentless pursuit of doing whatever people might like, they each did more for the dissemination of dance music in America than they probably realise, and each of these dudes are good for one mindless party banger per fiscal quarter.
When you get Flo Rida and Pitbull together, they become the Siegfried and Roy of horrifically bad taste. Their new single “Can’t Believe It” is completely about butts. It scoffs at every notion of decorum. This song is so insanely shitty that it reaches the sublimation point, flowing freely between good and bad to the point where it becomes absolutely perfect. It helps that Flo Rida and Pitbull both hail from Miami, a town built upon a veritable foundation of truly incredible songs about butts, so given what they were going for it was going to be pretty hard for them to fuck this one up.
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Because this music video is truly a sight to behold, I have taken a selection of screenshots for your viewing pleasure and added some relevant commentary.
What happened to the top halves of these womens’ bodies???
Is Flo Rida trapped in a weird butt-rap version of Gulliver’s Travels?
Do mermaids even have butts?
Is this an optical illusion? Infinite butts on ice cream cones until the sun explodes and engulfs the earth?
Is Flo Rida supposed to be a spider in this shot?
Why is Pitbull dressed like a villainous Formula One driver on his day off?
Is Pitbull about to dive headfirst into a woman’s butthole?
Is Flo Rida afraid of getting hit in the head by the hot air balloon made out of a butt?
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