Whatup 2016? I’m going to be busy these next few weeks correcting all my shit after still writing 2015. You know how that goes. Okay, enough small talk because it’s a holiday weekend and I’m still hungover from Moscow Mules because I’m fancy. Anyway, here’s what your favorite (and not favorite) musicians had to say on Insta this week.
Wait, hold the fucking phone. Josh Groban and Kat Dennings are still together? I love this news so much. Sorry to be talking to you all like you’re the lady doing my nails and shit, but this is pleasant news I wanted to share with a trusted friend.
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Wait so the Weeknd told Fab THAT was the best jacket he’s seen all night? Hmmm.
I toasted with the same “water,” Alessia. I love her for trying to be a role model still despite having a glass full of suds.
Yeah this 2015 flashback of Malia Obama rocking a Pro Era t-shirt made me realize we will never have a cooler family in the White House ever again. Le sigh.
Ugh sometimes Justin Bieber can be so fucking adorable, even when he’s violating every Labor Day rule ever made by wearing all white.
Big Boi has a championship belt and your belt is from Target and barely holds up your pants.
Okay Britney Spears looks fucking terrifying here. Still a fan though.
So 2 Chainz gets to go from Dabbin’ Santa sweaters to this CEO,000,000 thing? Does this mean no more music? Asking with a combination of delight and disappointment. Also, I need one of these hoodies.
BIRDMAN AND DRAKE AND MACK MAINE AND WEEZY ARE ALL TOGETHER AND THE TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. Okay, sorry. I’ll stop yelling now.
Per Wikipedia: “Trypophobia is a claimed pathological fear of holes, particularly irregular patterns of holes.” So I guess I have that because I hid under my table when I saw this photo.
Leave it to Keef to take New Year’s to the next level. Weed horns? What a scary, scary legend he is.
Khaled had the best year ever, hands down. I mean, who else could turn his Snapchat rants into slogans on chancletas?
Diplo is usually the embodiment of an unwarranted dick pic sent over text at 3 AM, but this is pretty humble and adorable. Madge is the embodiment of a “new phone, who dis” text though, so it makes perfect sense.
This photo looks like Lana took it sitting outside of Sbarro’s at the mall. That’s a compliment by the way.
There’s something charming about Tyler, the Creator taking a bathroom selfie in a Varsity jacket and requesting guys to clean their dicks. He’s like the coach of some self-deprecating-slash-awesome #sports team.
Kathy Iandoli’s New Year’s resolution is still unresolved. Follow her on Twitter/Instagram.
