Toronto’s mayor John Tory—who doesn’t believe white privilege is a thing—doesn’t know a lot about music. Despite the fact that he has previously attended SXSW this past year, he didn’t seem to learn any of the important things one would’ve hoped he would, like whether or not Kanye West is a Canadian citizen. Fortunately Toronto music critic Ben Rayner has come to the aid of the mayor, forcing himself into the mayor’s office armed with cue cards with words written in very large font, as well as a gag issue of Rolling Stone magazine with Kim Kardashian on the cover.
At first, Tory is taught to “FEIGN AUTHORITY” when it comes to talking about music. And as a musical expert on all things music, I happen to agree with him. If you can’t feign authority over a musician you’ve never heard of, how can you expect to be taking seriously when pretending to know how to properly run a city? Then, Tory is shown a picture of Serena Ryder, who is, if we’re to believe the cue cards, an “ONTARIO GAL.” She also has a song called “STOMPA,” which Tory then uses to appear funny by intentionally confusing the song name with the band Stompin’ Tom Connors. Haha, get it? Because he’s old and white and doesn’t like music outside of his cultural bubble! Hilarious!
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Tory is then shown a beautiful image of Pitbull and his bulge. This is where things start to get problematic, as the critic tells Tory that communicating with Pitbull is pointless because he “SPEAKS GIBBERISH,” better known to most of the world as “Spanish.” We can’t blame Ben Rayner for not understanding Spanish as it’s not one of Canada’s two official languages, but the lyrical barbs Pitbull threw on “Fun” (I know you think it’s just rap / just that / just this / [laughs] / right) are anything but gibberish.
Then we get to Kanye West, the man with the Pan Am closing ceremony duties. Tory confirms that he now knows that West is American now, and is told by his teacher to “FEED HIS EGO.” The image above about Tory seeing a cue card with the word “HIGHLY UNSTABLE” is never explained, but judging from the condescending tone taken towards everyone but the single Canadian act, it’s likely that it wasn’t a very funny—let alone necessary—joke. Watch the full video below:
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