Sia Fans Have Filed a Lawsuit Against Her for Being Kinda Boring at a Gig

Have you ever been to a shit gig? I have, on more occasions than I care to remember. This one time, for instance, I stood outside for three hours waiting for an artist to arrive, only for the stage to legit blow away. As in, BLOW AWAY INTO THE SKY. I just finished my drink and left, but looking back, what I should have done is dropped a fat lawsuit on their asses. Because that’s what people do now if they don’t like something: they file lawsuits. And I know this because some Sia fans have launched their own lawsuit against the singer for being “impersonal” and “lacklustre” at a gig in Israel.

According to The Jerusalem Post, the perfomance lasted 65 minutes and screens either side of the stage showed pre-recorded footage instead of what was happening onstage. “As a result,” explains the newspaper, “the vast majority of concert-goers (with the possible exception of people who shelled out for expensive front-row ‘golden ring’ tickets) experienced in essence a movie screening on the lawn of the Yarkon, complete with live backing vocals from a bewigged Sia and a distant stage show they couldn’t see. Even the live vocals felt impersonal, as the artist never once addressed the crowd, mentioned what it was like to be in Tel Aviv, or bantered in any way.”

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You hear that? No banter. If their lawsuit is successful, maybe it’s about time we brought lawsuits in for everything, and then we could seek vengeance for every element of dissatisfaction in our lives. Who left the fridge door open? File a lawsuit! Why did that Uber driver give you a bad rating? File a lawsuit! That pizza was a bit dry, wasn’t it? File a lawsuit! My skin feels itchy sometimes. File a lawsuit!

To be fair on the Sia fans, all the lawsuit has asked is that those who attended the gig get a £70 refund, because £70 is a quite a lot of money to spend on something that wasn’t worth it. However, according to what Sia’s tour promoter Ilan Elkayam told IQ, loads of people did actually enjoy the gig. “We wish to emphasise that the show was extremely successful,” he explained. “We have received hundreds of comments from satisfied fans who thoroughly enjoyed the performance and production. In addition, it should be noted that, to the best of our knowledge, the claim was not submitted against Sia herself.”