Listen, I won’t waste a lot of time on pre-amble here. We all know who U2 are thanks to years of unwarranted exposure, and because their record Songs of Innocence bulldozed it’s way into the personal lives of every single Apple customer on planet earth last September. Last night, their guitar player David Howell Evans aka “The Edge” was wandering along, cruising through a solo, and plonked himself straight off the stage. Like, off the actual stage he was actually playing live music on in front of thousands of people.
I don’t want to get too “man falls off stage, world laughs” about this, but when you force the world to address you by the noun for the outside limit of an area or surface – even though you’re 53 – and then you ACTUALLY FALL OFF ONE, then, well, I think we’re allowed a giggle. As you can see in the video above, what happens doesn’t quite constitute a “fall” as much as he literally just tries to walk on thin air and crashes into a crowd who seem very skeptical about helping him back up.
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I’ve watched this video approximately 50 times and I still cannot figure out how this could possibly have happened to an adult human whose only job as a sapien is to remain standing up. Standing up on a stage, which had brightly lit strip lights indicating exactly where the edges are. A stage where it’s surely obvious that where the thousands of people begin, the stage stops. But some possible explainations include:
1) He’s pissed.
2) He fell asleep, because playing guitar in U2 is the only thing in existence more tedious than a funeral.
3) The smugness induced by his own guitar playing formed an invisible cloud around his head, thus hampering his ability to judge distance.
4) He’s just definitely 100% pissed.
UPDATE: DON’T WORRY GUYS THE EDGE IS ALIVE AND WELL. He has confirmed on Instagram that he “didn’t see the edge!” Although he has managed to make his way safely to a bottle of Champagne, so I guess you could say that in the end he found what he was looking for LMFAO.
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