It’s time to laugh at some overreacting, entitled wimps again!
Cry-Baby #1: Dola Indidis
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The incident: Jesus Christ was crucified 2000ish years ago (allegedly).
The appropriate response: Nothing. Let it go, man.
The actual response: A Kenyan lawyer is petitioning the International Court of Justice (ICJ) to declare that the trial of Jesus was an unfair trial.
Dola Indidis, a lawyer in Kenya who formerly served as the spokesperson of the country’s judiciary, is attempting to sue Italy, Palestine, Israel, Tiberius (who was the emperor of Rome from 42BC – 37AD), Pontius Pilate (the judge at Jesus’ trial), King Herod, and a bunch of Jewish elders.
In an interview with The Nairobian, Dola said, “I filed the case because it’s my duty to uphold the dignity of Jesus and I have gone to the ICJ to seek justice for the man from Nazareth. His selective and malicious prosecution violated his human rights through judicial misconduct, abuse of office bias and prejudice.” Adding, “I want a declaratory judgment that the trial and sentence entered were badly done and therefore null and void.”
Dola also believes that the method by which Jesus was executed was unlawful as, under Galilean law 2000 years ago, the sentence for blasphemy was being stoned to death, rather than crucifixion.
Dola first attempted to file his case in 2007 in the High Court of Nairobi, but, shockingly, it was rejected. He then applied to have it heard at the ICJ at the Hague, who, Dola claims, have constituted a pre-trial panel to consider whether or not to take the case.
A website called Legal Cheek contacted the International Court of Justice, who denied that they were considering the case. A spokesperson told them, “The ICJ has no jurisdiction for such a case. The ICJ settles disputes between states. It is not even theoretically possible for us to consider this case.”
Cry-Baby #2: Bromet School
(via)
The incident: An 11-year-old girl ate some chocolate on a school trip, despite it being against school rules.
The appropriate response: Pretending you hadn’t noticed if you’re nice, taking the chocolate off the kid if you’re an asshole.
The actual response: The girl’s mother was forced to make a 160-mile round trip to take her home.
Holli McCann, 11, from Watford, England, was on a school trip to the Isle of White, an island just off the coast of England.
On the first night of the week-long break, Holli and two other girls she was sharing her room with ate some chocolate that Holli had sneaked along with her. She did this despite having signed a “behavior charter” before the trip that explicitly stated that chocolate was off-limits.
Holli wrote about the secret chocolate session in a letter back home to her mom, which, despite being sealed in an envelope, was read by her teachers.
Holli’s teachers then searched her room to see if she had more chocolate. They removed the lining of her suitcase and tipped out her toiletry bag, in a manner that her mother describes as being consistent with Holli “running an international drug smuggling operation from [her] hotel room.”
A message was sent to Holli’s mom, Kerri, saying she needed to urgently contact school officials.
Yvonne Graves, the headmistress of the school, explained to her what had happened and told her she needed to come and collect her daughter immediately, despite the fact that she was on a totally different land mass.
So Kerri had to drive overnight to collect Holli and take her home. A 160-mile round trip that included two ferry journeys.
To make the story even more depressing, The Telegraph reports that Kerri is unable to work as she is the sole carer for her autistic son, and had to save for six months to get together the £300 for Holly’s trip. She then had to borrow an additional £130 from friends and family in order to be able to go and collect her.
Kerri has formally complained to the school and its governors.
Which of these guys is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know right here:
Who is the bigger cry-baby?Winner: The gun woman!!!