This video doesn’t have a great deal to do with this article, but it’s more interesting than a picture of Meghan Mchugh.
We’ve been spending a lot of time covering sports lately, which has led to many serious conversations about the bonerability of athletes in general. In theory, they’re supposed to have bodies that everyone else should strive for. But the more we look at these people, the more we think some of these sports folks look like varicose vein-y mutant freaks. Does being a superjock really mean you’ll end up a weird, sweaty flesh triangle? We decided to ask the public.
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VICE: Are athletes sexy?
Daisy Johnson, 18: Some of them, yeah.
What about Olympic-type athletes then, like javelin throwers, runners, archers…
The majority of them tend to be. I wouldn’t kick a lot of them out of bed. I think it depends on the sport as well—like swimmers, I can’t complain with swimmers.
Really, don’t you think they are a bit big?
Oh no, I like big. I like the muscles, I definitely like the muscles. Swimmers, javelin throwers, trackers… Anything with muscles.
Do you find athletes attractive?
Phil, 26: What, like female athletes?
Any.
Well, sometimes they are really unattractive. Girls that are too muscly, you know? I don’t like that.
Are there any ones you do like?
Tennis player girls are hot. Ana Ivanovic is super-hot. And I ski, so I like skiers. We have this joke, me and my ski friends who ski race, that only the girls that come in third place and down are hot.
Why’s that?
‘Cos the better ones tend to look like men.
What about you? Do you think that athletes are sexy?
Katalin, mother of Phil: Yes. Tennis players like Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal… All of those guys.
What about other Olympic sports people?
Oh, you know who else I think is really sexy? David Haye.
Oh yeah? Got a thing for the Hayemaker have you?
OMG! He’s the athlete of the year. I met him personally at Heathrow. I was on the same plane with him. I was like “This guy is a rockstar!”
Would you have gone on the run with him that time he hit the other guy, and then spent a few days living as a fugitive in Germany?
No, probably not.
Do athletes have sex appeal?
Asmir, 23: Yeah, sure.
Any particular kind?
All of them, the athletic look is hot in general. But also it confuses me sometimes because some of them look sexy, but they don’t act sexy.
What do you mean?
Oh, athletes are all so full of themselves! That is not attractive to me. Not in the slightest.
Are there any particular types of sports players that you find hot?
I can tell you what I don’t like—I don’t like soccer players. They are not feminine.
Are you attracted to the superjocks of the Olympics?
Hannah Jane, 19: I’d have to say no. I like rugged men with lots of hair. That’s probably the only reason I would watch it on TV.
At which event would we catch a glimpse of this “rugged man”?
What’s the thing when they swing a big ball around… Shot put! I like them because they tend to be a bit more rugged, hairy, and big, you know…
Troll-like?
Uh, no. More like… an Italian stallion!
George, 18: I don’t really know. I don’t really watch sports.
Well do you think it is sexy to be sporty or do you think that is gross?
I find it attractive if a girl goes to the gym or enjoys going for a run. But it’s gross if they are like, really big.
Are there any sport stars that you think are really hot? Like tennis players? Shot put? Cheese rollers?
No. No way.
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