These Rugs Will Help You Get Laid (and They’re on Sale)

Hey, what are you doing standing around outside? Get in here and have a vodka tonic, you bastard! Oh, this old thing? [Points at vintage-looking rug.] Got it on sale. Really ties the room together, right?

If you haven’t seen The Big Lebowski, you should definitely give it a watch. (Go ahead, we’ll wait—your boss will understand.) Film people will surely tell you about all the undertones and deeper meanings that whoever directed it meant to convey, but really, it’s a movie about a rug. And that’s enough for us! Rugs do, in fact, tie rooms together, and they also help you a) learn to interior decorate like an adult; b) muffle the tremendous amount of noise you’re probably unknowingly making and ruining your downstairs neighbor’s life; and c) protect your hardwood floors, so you are more likely to get your security deposit back, and then you can spend it on jalapeño margaritas.

Unfortunately, picking a rug is weirdly difficult, because it feels like a huge commitment, the nice ones are usually très expensive, and the affordable ones are often made with unappealing, low-quality materials. It’s easy to spend three hours a day for two weeks straight staring at rugs, then closing your laptop and not buying a dang thing because it’s simply too overwhelming to sift through all of the options. But to be rug-less is a sad state; it’s almost as bad as not having a bedframe and just sleeping on a beige mattress on the floor with one single, dirty pillow. Your potential lovers will silently cringe. Your floor will attract grime. You’ve gotta just take the plunge and get a rug.

Maybe you lost all your money in a crypto crash. Fine. We’ll find you some rugs on serious clearance.

Luckily for you, our literal jobs are to scour websites looking for the good shit, and we’re also big-time deal nerds, so we found you some killer, top-notch rugs on sale for ridiculously low prices. While we definitely suggest you try to support your local rug dealer whenever possible, the mega-huge home site Overstock is having huge discounts on area rugs (and an extra 25% off other select items) at its End of Summer Super Sale until August 23.

So, crank some half-and-half into your black Russian, don your dirtiest robe, and get yourself a dope rug, you Grown Up Adult. The Dude commands it, after all, and you’d be remiss if you didn’t abide.

You’re into DMT

But not in a corny, J*e R*gan kind of way—in a tasteful, dirty hipster kind of way. Or, perhaps you’re just into this cozy, vibey medallion rug because you can imagine it anchoring your den while you have a whiskey in front of the fire. Either way, it slaps.

Cover the floor of your 70s-style bachelor pad

You’re going to want some traction when you’re cutting a (figurative) rug in your 70s-era love nest. This rug is hand tufted from 100-percent natural wool fibers, and looks like something from the set of Boogie Nights. In a good way.

You want to chat about CBD…

… And you don’t mind that nobody wants to listen. That’s OK, though, because you just took 500 milligrams of a high-strength cannabinoid tincture, your socks are off, and you’re currently cat-stretching your bare feet into the folds, twists, and braids of this handmade, natural-fiber rug. Life is good.

A classic Persian

This Dude-esque number is sure to be the comforting floor piece for some meditative smoke seshes. It’s chill without being pretentious, and can be rocked with pretty much any room’s  aesthetic.

You’ve ordered a Vesper before

You’ve also made sure everyone around you knows that they stopped making Kina Lillet in 1986. This minimalist graphic rug is great for every room in the house, and is also described as “gorgeous and soft,” just like you.

You just got promoted to adjunct professor

Congrats! Now it’s time to host a soirée with the remaining members of your college acapella group that still a) like you, and b) check the Facebook group chat. We wish we could throw in a tweed suit, but that’s gonna be up to you to source. (Elbow patches not included.)

You like to lay on the floor

Whether you’re spiraling, on a significant amount of mushrooms, or just chilling on the floor, this soft, textured rug is perfect for every floor-laying situation. Life, as we all know, is more manageable while horizontal.

Udderly breathtaking

This highly rated, faux cowhide rug is just what the doctor ordered. (One might even say buying it is a smart… moo-ve.) It also re-creates the natural weight, depth of color, and lush pile of the real stuff without harming any of our bovine friends.

Not doing it for you? Don’t worry, there are plenty more rugs where those came from.

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The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.