Internet Education: Straight Edge, Revenge Halloween

As I am both a fallen straight edge kid and a lapsed Christian, I hope you'll appreciate the personal bent of my internet learnings this week.

1. SAMUEL L. JACKSON HAS ONE COOL REPUTATION

You'd be surprised just how many times the internet refers to Samuel L. Jackson as "Mr Cool Himself" - even foreign language websites slip into English for it. What would SLJ say if I told him that "Mr Cool Himself" is also what my Mum call anyone wearing sunglasses. "Motherfucka" something, I'd imagine.

2. PRE-SKINHEAD ERIC CLAPTON LOVED NEIL ARMSTRONG

Apparently, Eric Clapton's "all to brief so-called 'pre-skinhead' look sported for a short while during his stint in The Yardbirds, in the summer of 1964 to be precise," was inspired by, "off-duty astronauts".

3. CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN AND YOU'RE GOING TO HELL

"Tracts" are like Christian fan-fiction comics. I like this one a lot. The message is: It doesn't matter whether you're a good or a bad person, if you insist on hanging around with worldly types who wear t-shirts, instead of submitting your will to Jesus, you're going to hell no matter what.

I found it linked from a website about Christian alternatives to Halloween. The website is pretty cool, I like that Annie defines the word "alternative" about halfway down and that somewhere on the page is the sentence, "Jesus Is Lord of Halloween Too".

4. THERE ARE MANY FALLEN STRAIGHT EDGE KIDS

This A-Z of straight edgers who have has been down for a while, but using my specialist computer skills I've found an archived version for you.

Owing to the fact that, lunatics notwithstanding, everyone sells out after they're 17, putting up a list of "edgebreakers" seems like naming and shaming everyone who's over Police Academy. There are some pretty funny entries, though: Dany F: Vegan/straight edge forever. Then vegetarian straight edge. Then vegetarian. Now eats meat and drinks beer while playing in a dancy indie band that's actually supposed to be pretty good." "Jacob Williams… no one knew he was straightedge to begin with." The 12-year-old me would be pretty let-down to see Edward Goodlife on there. I used to write to him to tell him how inspiring the new XMorning AgainX record was; back when I was young and fucking insufferable.

5. STRAIGHT EDGE HIP-HOP STILL BELIEVES

When your done reading about all the traitors, it's refreshing that there's still some people nailed to the X. Straight edge hip-hop. Party time!

DON CASTER