Always Wanted to Bone the Svedka Robot? Try This High-Tech Vulva Vibrator

Never been eaten out by a robot? Molto tragico. It’s 2024, and high-tech vibrators for all sexual proclivities abound, whether you’re interested in getting biofeedback on your orgasms or making love to an alien tentacle. And within that big, bulging vein, the sexual wellness brand Hot Octopuss has become an invaluable resource for folks who want sex toys with innovative, cybersexual flair. Over the years, Hot Octopuss has given us a dragon-inspired penis stroker and satisfied our Sehnsucht to get fingerbanged by the Svedka fembot; it has created both a jet pack experience for your balls and a prostate massager that one Hot Octo reviewer called “Earth-shatteringly good.” Now, just in time for Cupid’s birthday/tax season, it’slaunched a sex toy for vulva-owners and anyone else who wants to hump a next-level, gyrating rod. Make way for the PULSE Queen: 

At first glance, the PULSE Queen looks like a Womanizer clitoral suction vibrator, or maybe a TikTok-viral cleaning product of some kind (which is tight because it makes the vibrator a discrete item to have laying around, if that matters to you). But the Queen, which is about seven inches long, is not a suction clitoral vibrator, but more of an oscillator designed to be humped, applied to your clitoris while laying on your back, or, if you really want to get creative, massaged over your boo’s gooch while you get dotingly railed. 

As Hot Octopuss explains, “Our patented PulsePlate Technology delivers deep, bassy, high-amplitude oscillations” of 2.5 to 3 millimeters that send the Queen’s vibrations even deeper into your clitoris and vulva than your average vibrator with a unique, toe-curling ripple effect. Think of it as the rolling tongue of a gifted partner (if that partner got a masters degree from Hot Octopuss). The cherry on top? This trusty vibe is completely rechargeable, and comes with a travel-sized pouch to accompany you on your next vacation. 

Here’s to another V-Day—or, as we like to call it, Wednesday—of sipping an ice-cold martini, sucking the Bugles off our lover’s fingers, and grinding on our new Queen until the sun comes up. 

Purchase the PULSE Queen vibrator at Hot Octopuss. 

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