Stop.You know that grossed-out feeling you get when you hear the word âpanties?â I wonât even wait for you to respond, because I assume that being a normal human being, hearing the word âpantiesâ sends a wave of perviness over your soul and makes you feel like you should be added to the National Sex Offenders Registry. There is a musical equivalent to âpanties,â and that is the word âpunk.ââPunkâ is a totally stupid word and I feel like I should be thrown in music jail for using it. Not sure who else would be in music jail, but definitely the guy who wrote that âHey Soul Sisterâ song and anyone who wears a shirt of the band theyâre going to see. âPunkâ is my least favorite word that also happens to be a word I use approximately 900 times a day, since itâs technically the type of music I listen to. I say âtechnically,â because thatâs one of the worst things about the word: Itâs so fucking broad.Punk, first and foremost, is an ethos or set of ideals, so anything that falls under this gigantic, safety-pinned umbrella gets labeled as "punk." Then, there are all these subgenres of punk, all with equally gross-sounding names. Thereâs hardcore, which confuses people. The first time I told my mom I listened to hardcore music, she said, âNo, you donât. Thatâs pornography.â Thereâs also emo, which makes me want to beat myself up for even saying it. And then thereâs screamo, ska, pop punk, post-punk, grindcore, and a million other subdivisions people made up to make themselves sound interesting on their dating profiles. Itâs all technically "punk."This brings up some deep philosophical questions. Questions like âIs punk a musical genre or a state of being?â âCan you define a genre that is inherently anti-definition?â âHow the fuck has Anti-Flag been a band for 25 years?â In seeking answers to these questions, I asked for input from my friend Brendan Kelly, a notable punk rocker who has been punk rocking for the last 15 punk years in the punk band The Lawrence Arms (very punk). Take it away, BK: âIf Crass is punk and Good Charlotte is punk and Madball and Fifteen and the Misfits and Shelter and the Cro-Mags are all punk (and they all are, because no rules, bro), then it's pretty meaningless ideologically, which means it's just another way to sell something, and âways to sell somethingâ are either lame marketing strategies on one hand, or propaganda the other.â So basically, if everything is punk, then nothing is punk. At this point, Iâd like to point out that punk is the only genre of music where this sort of discussion occurs. You never hear fans of motown at each otherâs throats about what is or is not "motown" BECAUSE THE TEMPTATIONS ARE NOT REAL MOTOWN YOU FUCKING POSER GO BACK TO HOT TOPIC.Another reason âpunkâ is such a heinous word is the image associated with it. Most people who are into punk today listen to bands like Dillinger Four and Teenage Bottlerocket and usually dress pretty unsuspectingly in jeans and band shirts. But when casual music fans hear the word âpunk,â they think of the ridiculous costumes worn by bands of the late-70s like the Sex Pistols. Newsflash to those people: No one who is into punk today gives a raging fuck about the Sex Pistols. And for the most part, the punks with green liberty spikes, bondage pants, and studded leather jackets have died out. Occasionally, youâll spot a member of this endangered species in the wild and itâs like finding a leprechaun. They are mythical creatures who look like they stepped out of a time machine from an era when people gave a shit about Ronald Reagan.Seriously. Stop.What say you on this subject of punk fashion, Brendan Kelly? âThe idea of calling an anti-establishment, anti-culture movement by a name that invokes fashion and strict dogmas is fucking stupid to begin with. And if your argument is that punk has always been a fashion thing first and foremost, and I would maybe argue this, well then being âpunkâ is no cooler than being a Jersey Shore dago or a ârockerâ or a âhippie.â And being a hippie is the worst thing you can be.â Well put, Brendan. And hey, thanks for dropping in that casual ethnic slur about my Italian heritage.I feel like weâve gotten into some really deep territory on the whole punk/unpunk thing here, so letâs just also remember that on a more base level, âpunkâ is also like nails on a blackboard due to its dumb, non-music-related use. As in Clint Eastwoodâs, âYou feeling lucky, punk?â or whatever it was he said before he started arguing with empty chairs. It basically means hooligan or rascal. I think Iâll start telling people I listen to rascal, rock because that is less embarrassing.Well, since Iâve just used the word âpunkâ about a hundred million times, Iâm going to go take a cold shower in my clothes for the rest of the day while sobbing along to Rancidâs And Out Come The Wolves. Later, punks.Dan Ozzi runs our favorite punk blog, Jaded Punk. He's thinking of renaming it "Jaded Rascal." He's also on Twitter - @danozzi
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