Sports

7-Year-Old Cowboys Fan Writes Scathing Letter to Jerry Jones: “WE SUCK”

Rylan Wood and the letter he wrote Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.

When you’re a professional in the sports business, you’ve got to develop some thick skin. Competition is the name of the game, and you learn to rise above the haters. But there’s something about being dunked on by a kid that you just can’t recover from.

Jerry Jones—the protest-busting geriatric oil baron who owns the Dallas Cowboys—is taking L after L, with his team posting a brutal 3-5 record so far this season, telegraphing plays, and even Cowboys legend Troy Aikman is calling for a “complete overhaul.” And then he watched as the discarded Dez Bryant signed with a legitimate Super Bowl contender in the New Orleans Saints. And then walked in second grader Rylan Wood, who roasted the good old boy.

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Kayla Jimenez, from Mansfield, Texas according to her FB account, helped her son Rylan pen a frustrated letter to Jones after the Cowboys 28-14 loss to the Tennessee Titans on Monday Night Football this week. And he did not pull punches. Just check it out:

For those of you who can only read cursive, here’s the statement:

Dear Mr. Jones,

My name is Rylan Wood. I am a 7-year-old 2nd grade student in Mansfield, Texas. My family has been Dallas Cowboys fans since the team was started. I have a lot of Cowboy gear and I have met ‘Zeke, Taco, Jason Witten and two other players who play on other teams.

You have made my mom very mad because WE SUCK! Every game day she is yelling at the TV and turns off the game. We are wanting to believe in the boys but its hard. I hope ‘Coach Garrett’ is clapping if this letter gets to you. See what happens when Dez X is gone?? The cheerleaders are better than the team this year. I do not want to hurt your feelings.

Thank you, Rylan

I mean, come on—the kid couldn’t even watch the game because it was a school night! And yet he’s still dunking on the old man. “I do not want to hurt your feelings,” is extra troll sauce. Time to reevaluate your situation, Jerry. Or hire the young man to your front office.