The Best Sturdy Bed Frames for Sex, According to Real (Horny) Reviewers

Look, we all have our strengths. This is especially the case for (most) affordable bed frames, which are fine for sleeping  and chilling, but can really suck once it’s time to start humping someone or something with real fervor. Not to rag on your $99 metal bed frame—we’re proud of you for getting that mattress off the floor—but we also know it starts creaking and wheezing more than a septuagenarian Republican senator once the balls are out. You, and your partners, deserve better. 

We want to find you a bed frame that doesn’t break the mood (or the floorboards) while you attempt to reach new heights of sexual origami. We’ve searched our own hearts, and asked our most sexually acrobatic friends for their input; we’ve pored over reviews on best-selling bed frames from West Elm, Amazon, and Wayfair, and gotten elbow-deep in Reddit to see what folks are saying about the best sturdy bed frames for sex. According to one person in the r/BuyItForLife subreddit, “The most quiet frame is no frame at all. Mattress on the floor [...] Heard solid wood platform beds are quieter.” Fair enough, but not very appealing for those of us trying to impress Mommy make our homes feel more adult. But they were certainly onto something with the wood bed frame mentality. As another commenter writes, “[You want to] go with a solid frame. My last two wood frames have been heavy and silent. My steel frames before that squeaked and jittered.” 

I couldn’t agree more. A few years ago, I swapped my iron lung bed frame for a wood Japandi bed frame that gives me zero squeak, and, thus, no ick while getting railed. That being said, there’s a whole smorgasbord of options for you, the horny and bed frame-rattled, to consider when shopping for the best cheap(ish), sturdy bed frames for sex; You can invest in a mid-century modern sled, a piece with slick Japanese joinery, or drill your MCM bed frame’s headboard into the wall.

Let’s slob on that bedknob, and find the swolest, most non-squeaky bed frames for sex, according to real reviewers. 

The cool kid of bed frames is hands-down, ass-up this solid wood sled by Thuma. “That shit doesn’t move,” says Alexandra Polk, a lifestyle writer at Refinery29, “it doesn’t get loose—you get loose.” Folks from the above subreddit agree, with one writing,  “My Thuma is super quiet, I love it!” The magic lies in the company’s adoption of Japanese joinery, which means that the solid, repurposed wood frame requires no tools and results in an easy-breezy assembly that has earned it a five-star average rating from over 15,500 reviews on the site. 

Another frequent tip in the aforementioned subreddit is to get a headboard. “[I] went with a solid wood bed frame, and bolted the headboard to the studs in the wall,” writes one Redditor who really went the extra mile. We’ve long been simps for West Elm’s hearty MCM furniture, and the brand’s Acorn bed frame is a sturdy design flex that your descendants will fight over for generations. 

You may only know Avocado as the bougie organic mattress company of dreams, but it also makes a mean maple wood bed frame for porking. “[This is] beautifully built, great quality!,” writes one reviewer of the 4-star average rated frame, “[It’s] very sturdy, [and] doesn't not creak. Straightforward enough to assemble (with two people).” 

You may know Article as the brand behind the Sven sofa, which has gained a cult-like following from comfy couch stans with a flair for mid-century modern design, but it’s also home to some truly stunning bed frames. The Nera looks like it rolled right out of a 1960s movie set with its oversized herringbone headboard, which comes complete with built-in nightstands; It may be one of the pricier bed frames on our list, but it sure pulls its weight with those added design flourishes.

The Dalsa is another one of Article’s best bed frames in our humble opinion, because it has earned high ratings from Article reviewers who love its solid oak headboard. As one fan writes, “[It’s made of a] very good quality, solid oak, [with] nice golden colour. [A] simple and elegant design.” Plus, the cut-outs on the headboard are perfect for some spicy BDSM handcuffs.

Look, bed frames are generally an expensive investment piece, which is fair considering they (literally) support our spines and minds for the (approximate) one-third of our life spent in night-night time. But there are some strong, cheap(ish) bed frames out there that won’t creak and rattle during sex. I’m the proud owner of this bestselling Zinus bed frame, which has earned a 4.7-star average rating from over 23,600 reviews praising how easy it is to put together, and how expensive it looks. I can personally attest to both of these points, and underline how idiot-proof assembly is (I still have trouble with my roommate’s can opener). There is zero creakage in my life now, plus zero sliding now that I placed these furniture grippers underneath. 

Another Zinus bedframe to the rescue. This dark brown wood bed frame from the GOATed brand has a 4.6-star average rating from over 4,900 reviews on Amazon. As one reviewer writes, “I don’t know how to make this not sound like a paid ad, but this was a really good purchase. The bed is great, but what’s even more shocking is how good the setup was. Better than IKEA […] Kudos to the guys that made it.”

Never heard of the brand Red Barrel Studio? Welcome. Not only does it sound like the place where you pick up your log ride photos at Knott’s Berry Farm (hard smash), but it makes one of the most affordable headboard-endowed bed frames out there. Crowned the “Sawiris,” the bed frame has earned a 4.7-star average rating from over 3,400 reviews on Wayfair, with many praising how easy it is to assemble. As one fan writes, it’s just “[a] super sturdy and beautiful bed.”

Wayfair’s brand Lark Manor also comes in clutch with a frame wihout a headboard that has a 4.8-star average rating from over 7,800 reviews, including one Wayfair customer who writes, “Good quality. Basic and sturdy. No more creaking, which is what we needed, if you know what I mean!).” That we do, jabroni. 

This Millwood Pines bed frame from Wayfair is 32% off, and made out of solid wood, and also has a 4.8-star average rating from reviewers for what one stan described as a “Scandinavian/mid-century [modern] vibe,” fast shipping, and quick assembly.

No-slide furniture grippers aren’t a must for everyone, but they’ve proven to be really helpful for keeping my bed frame in place as I’m getting wheelbarrowed around. Plus, if you’re a renter, you’ll avoid scuffing up the floors. 

Now go forth, and smash. 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.