How to Start an Erotic Art Collection

We’re perpetually in hunt of a cheap thrill, but today we’re in hunt of a cheap thrill in the form of some choice erotic art. We might not have the means to bankroll a Princess X-level commission yet, but we are determined to find some horny art for our lonesome quar walls, at least the spot where we keep our medley of the world’s quietest vibrators.  

If you’re new to the world of erotica, fret not. Think of this as a trial period for finding what turns you on, and remember, there’s a niche here for everyone. For an intersectional, wide- sweeping history lesson, we suggest keeping platforms like Whores of Yore on your radar. If you’re like us and trying to wake up every day feeling like the director of a 1970s shag rug porno, check out the sparkling universe of Penny Angela, or second-hand corners of the internet for old erotic magazines, as there’s nothing quite so ambiance-buttering as having large format editorial spread of a 1970s bush (here’s how to get one yourself, BTW), on your coffee table. 

Nothing fucks quite as hard as a massive art book by TASCHEN, who lead the pack when it comes to big juicy art books (find our whoooole list of favorites here). They have a whole Sexy Books category for your pleasure, but our shortlist includes the photography of the beloved Ren Hang (RIP), whose “images capture naked subjects outdoors, exposed, erect, and in an entanglement of bodies that put him at the forefront of a gender fluid world and of Chinese artists’ battle for creative freedom.” Also peep the titles on Tom of Finland, and all the saucy-kitsch masterpieces of the Fantasy Art genre. 

Ren Hang, $50 at TASCHEN

Behold: An ethereal, glass dildo so perfect that it deserves first- tier adulation in your shrine (and top-of-the-tree placement come the holidays, check out that hook). Unbound Babes makes some of the coolest sex toy kids on the scene RN, and their wavey non-plastic dildo is “made from high-grade borosilicate glass designed for intense internal stimulation and external massage” that’s easy to clean and easy on the eyes.   

Unbound Babes Stellar Glass Dildo, $37 at Verishop

We're willing to bet that this is most definitely in Jeff Koons’ sex toy drawer, right by some butt balloons and that massive keyboard play mat from Big. Sorry.  

Icicles No. 24 Hand Blown Glass Massager, $51.79 at Amazon

One of our go-to spots for cool, expensive-looking wall art for cheap is Society6, which is also a purveyor of tasteful erotica that would look oh-so-nice with your bottle of Aesop and other fancy hand soaps.

Printable Muse Let's do some "we shouldn't be doing this" things Framed Art Print, $49.99 $39.99 at Society6

As stated by the seller of this premiere Oui issue (with the sticker; egads!), “This was the sister publication to Playboy magazine, [with] more up market sophisticated flair [...] it was created by Hefner to take business away from its rival, Penthouse [but] what actually happened was it took Playboy readers away from Playboy. Hefner eventually sold Oui in the early 80s” making this is a rare and collectible edition of the publication, which had a small but mighty print run with Hef. 

Oui, October, 1972, $32.21 at Amazon

Same. In the meantime, here’s an erotic dragon embrace bronze that asks—nay, demands—for all of your savings. And at some 60 inches tall, it’s not easily concealed, so for the love of Hobbiton, keep it outta the Zoom periphery. 

Erotic Dragons Sculpture, $20,686.62 at eBay

Can you imagine cracking open a glossy Playboy magazine (RIP), and casually seeing Sophia Loren? This 1960s edition is the time capsule and bimbo-himbo blueprint we need to emerge from our winter chrysalises like the powerful, slutty butterflies we are.    

Playboy from August, 1960, $22.29 at Amazon

We love spurs! We love hay rides! We love assless chaps! We know there’s much more to being a working cowboy than all of that, but just here for the George Quaintance-worthy fantasy of this original painting by contemporary artist Felix d'Eon (available as a giclee print), aptly titled “Morning Joe” because: onesies and boners. 

Morning Joe by Felix d’Eon, $35 at Etsy

Candles are having their stay-at-home creative Renaissance ATM, as evidenced by the booming popularity of blob and curve decor and even streetwear candles. How nice, then, to see the body sung and electric by way of even more candle wax. This is a lovely gift for your own home, or for a housewarming offering, as it’s not only a stunner but scent-free. 

Other You Shop Woman Body Candle, $14.73 at Etsy

One of the SFW options in our trench coat today, as well as one of the sunniest, is this second poster by our dude Felix d’Eon. It’s impossible to look at these two smitten jainas and not be in a better mood, so place them in a corner of your home office or kitchen that could use a quar vibe pick-me-up.   

Las Jainas Poster by Felix d’Eon, $24.82 at Redbubble

Sex work is work, and that includes erotic artistry. While the fight for fair sex work compensation has been charging onward for years (forever, TBH), Pornceptual has emerged as one of the coolest supportive platforms out there for creators; It highlights talented erotic artists from all walks of life on Instagram and features a selection of works for online sale, like these choice cheeks by US-based artist Evan Swartz. No wonder the rocket’s got a red glare. We’d blush, too. 

Pornceptual Print by Evan Swartz, $80.56 at Pornceptual 

Consider this our soapbox speech to the Metropolitan Museum of Art: Please, for the love of Design Toscano’s cursed crab chair and the Home Depot Skeleton, bring the heavy-petting Hellenistic sculptures to the front of the line at the gift shop. In the meantime, we’ll most happily place all nine inches of these jaunty lads beside the tub, along with our dog-eared copy of Roman Homosexuality: Second Edition.

Design Toscano Hellenistic Greek Wrestlers Statue, $80.98 at Amazon

Still Life with Dildo won’t disappoint when it comes to color, vibrancy, and a piece upon which it is worth dropping some Big Kid Coin (meaning: a few grand) when and if you ever feel like investing in a piece with some real heavy, D-slappin’ metaphors. This photograph is part of the Galatea series by Tortora & Travezan, a project that “takes its name from the Greek myth, Pygmalion. According to legend, the sculptor (Pygmalion) fell in love with a statue he had carved (Galatea) that in turn fell in love with the sculptor when brought to life by Aphrodite.” Somehow, they all ended up in the same fruit bowl. Remember: this is for sale on 1stDibs, so you ~can~ negotiate for price.

Tortora & Travezan Galatea 11, $4,067.76 at 1stDibs 

There is some debate about whether or not O’Keeffe consciously instilled sexual innuendo in her blooms (find a flower that doesn’t have Hot Girl energy?). This somber but sensual poster of her 1930 painting has us feeling some type of way—chiefly, to live out our days perched on a rock in New Mexico like a sexy dust lizard, henceforth referring to our vaginas as pulpits.

Jack in the Pulpit poster by Georgia O’Keeffe, $25 at AllPosters 

To our delight and surprise, there are actually quite a few ancient fascinus charms and rings floating around the web, including this actual Roman military peen pendant from the 2nd century AD. While such fascina take on a hornier initial meaning in a 21st-century context, it’s cool to realize that these pieces were just commonplace good-luck charms back in the day. What a cool way to destigmatize body talk. What a cool topic for you to bring up, totally unrehearsed, at your post-COVID soirée. 

Rare Ancient Roman Military Phallic Pendant Artifact, $145 at eBay

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