The Conservative Party’s disastrous handling of the coronavirus pandemic has so far made little dent on their popularity in the polls, which is frustrating, but a comeuppance of sorts could be on the horizon: a punk song called “Boris Johnson Is a Fucking Cunt”, by a band called The Kunts, could be heading to Christmas number one. It’s not a resignation or a change of government, but… it’s something?
The song was released earlier this year, while the campaign to get it to Christmas number one was kicked off by Black Mirror creator Charlie Brooker, who tweeted a link in October. It’s based around the refrain: “Boris Johnson is a fucking cunt! He’s a fucking cunt! He’s a fucking cunt!” Sometimes, simplicity really is the ultimate sophistication.
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The song has now entered the UK’s Top 20 singles chart, perhaps spurred on by Boris Johnson’s announcement on Saturday that London and the South East would be entering Tier 4 regulations, and that the relaxation of lockdown measures for Christmas would be cancelled.
It’s currently sitting at number two, topped only by a cover of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” by YouTuber “LadBaby”, who’s had the Christmas number one for two years running. All of his covers are sausage-roll themed. As corny as that might sound, proceeds go to food bank charity The Trussell Trust, so it could be worse.
The Kunts’ other main rivals include Ed Sheeran’s ‘“Afterglow” and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You”, which reached number one in the charts earlier this month, a full 26 years after its release.
If “Boris Johnson Is a Fucking Cunt” does snatch the top spot, it wouldn’t be entirely unprecedented: the UK has prior form when it comes to sending an unlikely single to the top of the Christmas charts. Think of the time Rage Against the Machine’s “Killing in the Name Of” hit number one, after an effort to combat the X Factor’s dominance of the title.
A couple of years later, X Factor winner Matt Cardle released a cover of a Biffy Clyro song as his first single, which inspired a similar but more confused and less successful campaign to get the real version to Christmas number one. Again, the ostensible goal here was to teach Simon Cowell a lesson (people making a big deal out of hating Simon Cowell – something you don’t see so much of these days), but not enough people cared about further lining the pockets of a major label rock band who were already being paid for the rights, and the campaign failed.
Public life in the UK can be crushingly right-wing. A song called “Boris Johnson Is a Fucking Cunt” becoming Christmas number one might not change that, but it could make people who think Boris Johnson is a fucking cunt feel a little less alone… and when it comes down to it, isn’t that what Christmas is really all about?
