Everything You Need to Know About Dating a Libra

“Signs of Love” is a column in which astrologer Danny Larkin breaks down what it’s like to date each zodiac sign.

At first blush, Libras come off as the most charismatic people in the world. Those born under the sign of the scales are often on-trend fashionistas who can pull off any look seamlessly. Plus, these cerebral air signs have a suave way with words, which combined with their inherently flirty nature, allow Libras to turn any awkward situation into a cute, light-hearted moment. Wow, you think to yourself, this Libra is really putting me at ease even though I spilled my drink and probably came off drunker than I am because I’m just so nervous!

If you, like many others, have a crush on a magnetic Libra, I’d suggest taking them to a beautiful place for your first date. Libras are ruled by Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and desire, so the key to seducing one is to prove you understand how to create a beautiful moment. Avoid a trite touristy place with a legendary view, and instead opt for a cozy restaurant with nice decor and fresh flowers. Since Libras care deeply about aesthetics, be sure to present your best self: Wear a nice cologne or perfume so that whenever your Libra gets close to you, they get a whiff of splendor. Get a haircut or a blowout. Wear a nice shirt or your favorite outfit. Just don’t get carried away by going to a gaudy extreme—Libras, the sign of balance, will not find that cute. Similarly, it’s important to avoid cheesy, over-the-top lines like “did you wash your pants in Windex… because I can see myself in them” at all costs!

Libras find it annoying when a date tries to impress them by showing off in terms of career, competence, or money (save that for a Capricorn!). They’re much more likely to be impressed by your ability to tell jokes about this week’s news, or the effort you put into learning about their interests. When the conversation turns to work, tell a funny story about a time you resolved an absurd conflict with diplomacy, since few things turn a Libra on more than a suitor who values diplomacy and fairness.

Read Next

How This Fall’s Astrological Retrogrades Will Affect Your Sign

If you’re lucky enough to win over a Libra’s heart, you’re in for some genuinely wonderful experiences. A Libra partner will be amazing at diffusing tension when you’re out with friends and someone says or does something shitty. They’ll love hearing about your work drama and suggesting how to troubleshoot. They’ll be at every family event you invite them to, finding ways to make that drunk relative leave you alone or put that mean cousin in their place. And date nights with your Libra will be ultra-romantic—when Libras are in love, they go full on and don’t hold anything back.

In bed, equality and balance is crucial for Libras. Many go all out to please their partners and feel short-changed when their other half doesn’t put forth as much effort. It would pay dividends for you to tailor your technique to your Libra’s feedback. Too many people get stuck in a routine of doing whatever they enjoyed doing with their past sexual partner, but it’s important to a Libra that you adapt to their body. Don’t rush through sex like you’re taking the express train to an orgasm—Libra likes it slower and more sensual, with lots of turn-taking before climax.

Kinks can be hard for Libra; it’s very hard for them to say no to someone they care about or admit that they aren’t into something their partner loves. Some Libras may go so far as to pretend to like something in bed when they actually hate it. If you care about a Libra, pay close attention to their body language and facial expressions during sex: Do their physicalities confirm their words? As awkward as it might seem, discussing these potential misalignments will keep your relationship with a Libra healthy. Gently approach the conversation over coffee, like: You mentioned this was OK, but I noticed you didn’t seem totally into it. It’s not a big deal to me if you aren’t, but can we talk about it? I want us to be on the same page.

You’d think that someone with so much style and finesse would be easy to date, but it can actually get tricky really fast. Libras are people-pleasers, and though you might initially love how accommodating they are, it can be downright exhausting to date someone who can never pick what they for dinner. At their worst, Libras can relinquish so many of their own needs in an effort to please you that you’re left playing detective, gathering clues to figure out what it is they might want.

The hardest part about dating a Libra is that they’re prone to conspicuous silences. They avoid conflict to their detriment. Sometimes a Libra doesn’t want to go to that restaurant because it’s where they got dumped once, or they don’t want to see your wild friend who said something rude last weekend—but it’s hard for Libra to articulate these feelings because they’re scared of disappointing you. To make matters worse, Libras are also terrible at broaching difficult relationship conversations. Instead of addressing a problem head-on and telling you when something bothers them, they let a problem fester and become a behavioral problem. When they finally do blow up over the problem that could have been avoided in the first place, their partner rightfully wonders: Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?

The key to ending a relationship with a Libra is to tell them you want to break up as amicably as possible. Tell them you don’t want to get into specifics of why the relationship didn’t work out, or that it’s not fair to drag the relationship on when either of you are having doubts.

If you love a Libra for the long haul, cherish your intellectual air sign and go out of your way to let them know you forgive them when they mess up. Forgiveness and conflict resolution are erotic to Libras—and it wouldn’t hurt to master the art of make up sex. Keep the fire burning by suggesting dates to places you know they’ll find beautiful. If you put in the effort to stop and smell the roses with your Libra, all of life’s thorns will feel bearable.

What’s in the stars for you in October? Read your monthly horoscope here.

Want horoscopes sent straight to your inbox? Click here to sign up for the newsletter.