I Tried LELO’s Male Sex Toy With 'Cruise Control' Technology

God, people are so picky about how they cum these days. They expect every sexual encounter to be mind-blowing; they need every new sex toy on the market to stroke, suck, caress, clean easily, pay for dinner, cuddle through three episodes of Criminal Minds, and not snore. That’s asking a lot for a machine that costs, at most, maybe a couple hundred bucks. In the film Manhattan, a bunch of rich socialites are hanging around at a cocktail party. A woman says she finally had an orgasm, but that her doctor said it was the wrong kind. “Really?” someone replies. “My worst one was right on the money.” Such is the case with LELO’s F1S V2, a controversial male masturbator that people seem to either deeply love or seriously hate (at least based on everything I’ve heard from Amazon and LELO user comments, a colleague, and a former editor of mine). Your results will depend on how you interact with it, but the better you get at using it, the more you’ll find that right-on-the-money (a fine starting place) can become weak-in-the-knees.

Always the curious type, I ventured into the world of male sex toys to take this high-end, oral-simulating pleasure device for a test drive. Here’s what happened. 

So what’s the deal with this thing?

The LELO F1S V2—a mouthful indeed, which is foreshadowing if you have a sense of where I’m going next—is a six-inch cylinder that looks like it’s straight out of the next Ghostbusters movie. It’s black, with blue or red trim; the color mostly comes from the pliable, waterproof sleeve within, which you might euphemistically say is where the magic happens. The F1S V2 is clearly designed to emulate a physical sensation somewhere between PIV sex and a blowjob, and it uses quite a bit of technology to do so; it comes with an app (though you don’t need it and can easily go analog) to help you design a customizable program based on seven different pulsing patterns, each of which have a wide range of intensity. There’s a waterproof sleeve inside that you, for lack of a better term, fuck, and that contains sensors which will give you feedback through the aforementioned app. 

The F1S V2 uses proprietary technology with names like Sensonic™ and Cruise Control™ to steer the mechanical side of things and enhance the nuanced movements of the stroker’s interior to maximize climax. Do we need to get into the real granular tech specs of that part? No, you’re horny and you want to know if this machine is worth fucking, so let’s get into it.

What do the reviews say?

Before using this, I must admit I was a little skeptical. I’m a guy who looooves reading the comments for controversial products (I guess that’s why I’m a commerce writer), and the ones for the F1S V2 brought joy—for example, a top Amazon review is titled “Worst purchase ever.” I mentioned earlier that users seem to fall into two camps. The positive ones point out its convenience, intensity, and high-tech design; the funnier group here is the haters, who universally claim to have penises so huge that they couldn’t possibly use this device properly and thus found it disappointing. I’m not saying that this is a bad product for anybody with a big penis (more on this later), but I am saying that if I were to make a Venn diagram of reviews for this product, the “bad” section would be largely populated by people who claim to have huge penises. Anyway, there’s another Venn diagram to be made that deals with penis size and reply/comment guys, but let’s move on.  

What it’s actually like to use the LELO F1S V2

The size thing is worth getting into on its own terms. Like I said, this machine is about six inches long. Its advertised insertable length is actually 4.3 inches, meaning many of you probably aren’t going balls deep in it… but I don’t believe that that’s the goal of the F1S V2, so it shouldn’t be a dealbreaker. (That said, if you’re built like a can of beans, you definitely won’t fit in here.) In any case, a Fleshlight or full penetration simulator this is not—it’s a stimulator that’s supposed to feel good on your most sensitive erogenous zones (aka the head and upper shaft of your penis). Basically, you lube up (the sleeve is body-safe silicone) and insert however far you can—if you can comfortably only get in halfway, just go with it. Once you’ve found the right combination of pulsing and sustained vibration, I recommend moving it up and down very lightly—just enough to create a minimal amount of friction. Whether you move it or not, it’s going to feel pretty damn good. (And if you don’t or can’t move it at all, it still feels nice, though from an accessibility standpoint, the Hot Octopuss is going to give more bang for your buck, since that’s the mission of that product). Ultimately, the motors are fairly strong, and the fit is snug but enjoyable on a penis that’s, let’s say, larger than one that fits entirely inside this thing, but not as big as Jon Hamm’s is supposed to be. Finally, the motors are impressively quiet, at least while it’s actively in use.

Once you figure out how to groove with the machine, the F1S V2 feels great, even relaxing. If you’ve used enough lube and are also adding a little friction, the thing does actually feel somewhat like a blowjob—or at least the best version of what you imagined one to feel like before you got a really good one. You don’t only feel the motors at the tip, but rather throughout the whole insertable length, which is very nice. You can keep all the fancy settings low and prolong the enjoyment, or turn the intensity up so you can blast off like a rocket to outer space; it’s pretty versatile for any energy level you’re at, but I must say it’s kind of the ideal toy for when you’re feeling a little lazy and want something way more enjoyable than what you deserve from the labor you’re willing to put out (ah, the joy of sex toys). In the end, the way you use this is up to you, and as long as you aren’t expecting a full shaft sensation, you’ll probably find a lot to get worked up about here.

One night stand or back for more?

The F1S V2 feels great if you meet it where it’s at, but there are two things it can improve on. For one, the app is more complex than it needs to be; it actually looks more like a flight simulator program than something that should help you stay horny. The “Mode Creator” part is more straightforward and useful; you can choose from two different waves/patterns, change intensity, and sensors will tell you how much you’re penetrating, which is awesome. It’s great that you can save winning combos, so next time you can just start from there. But if you’re just trying to grab a regular ol’ quickie in the shower or before you go to bed, you can definitely avoid the app and still have an extremely satisfying session.

The other issue with the F1S V2 is the infamous fart noise. (Any quick surf through user reviews will hip you to this phenomenon.) I’m sorry to say that, yes, this thing does create some squelching noises that can be reminiscent of flatulence: After you lube up, if your girth is such that you’re pressing the sides of the sleeve, it’s going to make a somewhat funny sound when the air escapes as you’re penetrating. For some guys that want to use this thing with others in the building, that may be a problem, unless their partner’s agnostic as to whether they’re having an IBS flare-up or masturbating. 

All of that said—and as funny as it sounds—it’s not been a dealbreaker for me. The noise is not always entirely avoidable, but if you’re taking your time and being gentle—like you would, with, you know, another human being—it should be minimal. 

TL;DR 

The LELO F1S V2 is a great male masturbator if you have realistic expectations about what it can and can’t do. The motors and modes offer a complex, unique experience that, when combined with a small amount of friction, deliver a really good orgasm (and, because it’s silicone, it’s super easy to clean). 

Whether you’re someone who just wants increased stimulation down there or someone who simply can’t pound it as vigorously as they’d like, the F1S V2 is a worthwhile investment. Yes, the sleeve size is limited, so if you’re Jon Hamm someone who’s looking for a hella deep encounter, this isn't for you. But as they say, it’s about the motion of the ocean, not the size of the boat. 

The F1S V2 is available at LELO and Amazon. 

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