Hold My Lube: This Hands-Free Penis Vibrator Is 20% Off

Look, you’re busy. We respect that. We also know that we could never truly call ourselves stans of extreme multitasking if we couldn't find a way to help you masturbate and play Nintendo at the same time. We live in 2022, for chrissakes; if Musk actually cared about the people, he would stop dicking around with cars that freeze outside of LA, and start making sex toys that put in double time for their owners. 

Luckily, that’s where Hot Octopuss comes in. The sexual wellness brands slings some of our favorite sex toys, including curved G-spot dildos and lightweight finger banging vibes, and now it’s offering up to 20% off the best-selling hands-free Pulse range of penis strokers with the code PULSE20 from now until November 30.  

This isn’t your nan’s stroker, mate. The Pulse Solo Lux is one of the easiest male sex toys to clean because it strokes your penis sans the Fleshlight-esque tube, and it allows you to orgasm hands-free/like Iron Man with the clever wrist-strap remote and PulsePlate Technology. In the words of one reviewer, “[This is like the] fabulous Rolls Royce of toys. Especially for guys with any ED issues. Also, A+ customer service.” 

Can you imagine the possibilities? The ability to flip through the sauciest, spiciest magazines without skipping a beat for your meat? This is the future liberals want, and it’s the one they’re going to get.  

Purchase the Pulse Solo Lux at Hot Octopuss.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.