Angry Politician Attempts to Dump Dead Fish in the Thames in Bizarre Protest

We regret to inform you that farcical politician Jacob Rees-Mogg is at it again. The British MP, known for his anti-abortion and anti-gay rights views, tried to stage a provocative media stunt yesterday by dumping some dead haddock off a boat in the Thames. Because what says rebellion like attempting to throw fish into a London river?

However, Rees-Mogg’s stunt was thwarted yesterday when London transport officials refused to let him board the boat on which he would have released the fish from. According to the Evening Standard, a licensing problem meant Rees-Mogg was blocked from getting on the vessel, leaving fellow Brexiteer and, the world’s most irrelevant man, Nigel Farage, to dump said fish.

Just in case you’re not totally clear as to what dumping fish in a London river was supposed to protest, let us explain. Rees-Mogg, and some other pro-Brexit MPs, took issue with the news that UK fishermen (fisherpeople?) would still be subject to EU regulations during the 21-month transition period to leave to the union. In order to make it very clear to anyone who would listen that this was unfair, it was imperative that a box of haddock was emptied into the Thames. Of course. Of course.

Rees-Mogg, who has been the MP for North East Somerset since 2010, has enjoyed increased media attention since the vote to leave the EU, and following a poll that named him as most likely to be the next Conservative leader. His stance consistently opposing legislation to legalise same-sex marriage, as well as publicly announcing that he disagrees with abortion, even in cases of rape, has received cross-party criticism.

Rees-Mogg is also “uplifted” by the rise in food banks in the UK, has made millions off a hedge-fund management business that has ties to Russia and profits from the sale of illegal abortion pills, and boasts about never having changed a nappy, despite having six children.

Best of luck next time, mate.