Left alone with our thoughts while staying home to avoid spreading Covid-19, some of us are reaching incredible levels of horniness. Porn performers are fucking in hazmat suits. Furries are creating toilet paper waifus. Hentai sites are crumbling under the traffic surge. Local governments are asking citizens to please stop rimming for a bit, if we can.
Rising in tandem with unchecked sexual frustration is a national obsession with Animal Crossing: New Horizons, the newly-released Nintendo game where you’re a human person living on an island surrounded by anthropomorphic animals that you have to complete tasks for in order to befriend. There’s also some interior decorating involved.
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So it only makes sense that with a new AC release, and everyone pent up to cartoon boiler levels of sexual tension, there’s a resurgence of Animal Crossing porn. And there was already a lot of Animal Crossing porn, I’m sorry to report.
People are now searching for “Animal Crossing” more than they are “sex,” as of last week, which like the Waffle House Index, must be a metric for disaster:
Being horny for Isabelle has a long history: In 2018, a Redditor started the “I want to bang [insert fictional character] so goddamn bad” copypasta meme, for Isabelle. “Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the animal crossing dog so goddamn bad. I can’t stand it anymore,” the original post begins, and continues here, which is too raunchy even for this website.
But if you’re looking for more recent works in the NSFW Animal Crossing catalog, the subreddit r/animalcrossingrule34 has been plugging away since 2014, with nearly 17,000 members posting villagers and players in all sorts of sexual hijinks. Moderators announced Monday that the forum passed 15,000 subscribers a little over a week ago, so in the last nine days it’s jumped by 2,000 at least.
A lot of the drawings in that forum would fall firmly into the bestiality category; for example, seemingly grown adults drawing images of themselves fucking a cartoon Shih Tzu from behind. I say “for example” but that’s literally a recurring theme in the subreddit.
Pornhub, of course, is also full of Animal Crossing porn: Searching “animal crossing” returns more than 1,700 results, a lot of it is animated porn of the villagers, mostly Isabelle. Ankha the cat also makes frequent appearances. Some of it is gamer girl porn, where a woman’s playing the game while getting fucked. And some of it is just people tagging a popular game to get views.
One of the strangest subgenres of Animal Crossing fan art revolves around Isabelle muscle growth fantasies—and imagining the dainty dog as massively yoked is absolutely a sex thing.
In the fanfic world, people have been writing and publicly posting Animal Crossing erotica in places like Archive of Our Own for just as long, and probably a lot longer than that, in private.
Being a children’s game—or at least, a game with a child-like aesthetic that adults play—obviously makes porn of this genre a little dicey. Odds are high that kids could stumble onto this stuff while searching for Animal Crossing content online, and it’s also not clear how old any of the characters in the game are. While they do have birthdays, they don’t have birth years, and there’s no official age for the villagers as published by Nintendo.
Nonetheless, aspects of the game seem set up for the conclusion that these creatures are sexual beings and potentially, horny. Some players noticed that Harvey the hippie dog’s remote island features a room that looks a lot like a porn casting studio, complete with leather sofa and camera setup.
Others got to work turning that room into an opportunity to become a cam model and earn a little cash to pay Tom Nook:
Then there’s Raymond the cat, who’s exactly the right amount of enthused about wearing a maid outfit:
Tom Nook, the game’s longtime landlord, unfortunately isn’t exempt from the NSFW treatment. I’ve seen some Daddy Nook drawings that make me a little nauseous. But if furry landlord power dynamics are your thing, maybe it’s for you.
