The Commandments of Super Bowl snacks are simple. Thou shalt deep fry everything, cover it in cheese, and serve with chips. Oh, and thou shalt make sure to stuff foods inside other foods. The best snacks are, of course, some monstrous amalgamation of the above.
This is not a day for crudités, friends, but a time to reflect on the drunk foods that sustain us during the breaks between commercials. Behold, our favorite Super Bowl snacks, from the bacon-covered to the pizza-fied.
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Classic Fondue
Few things are as awe-inspiring as a massive pot of bubbling cheese. Charlotte Kamin of Bedford Cheese Shop is confident that this is the best drunk snack of all time.
Supreme Pizza Nachos
Honestly, it’s embarrassing for humankind that we haven’t popularized this yet. Pizza nachos are incredibly important, and you need them ASAP.
Blackened Shrimp Cocktail
Looking for a retro, semi-ironic finger food? Say no more, fam. We love a good shrimp cocktail, and these blackened shrimp with a spicy, peppery dry rub are no exception.
Pimento Cheese
If you’re from the South, you already know what’s up. And if you’ve never heard of pimento cheese before… We’re honored to introduce you to the pickle-y, spicy, cheesy mayo mixture of your dreams.
Loaded Baked Potato Quesadilla
Yep, it’s exactly what it sounds like—hunks of soft potatoes and all the fixin’s, smothered in cheese, nice and cozy between two tortillas. Oh, and we fry them in bacon fat. You can’t be mad at this.
Pizza Bagel Bites
Pizza in the first quarter, pizza in the second quarter, pizza during halftime… When pizza’s on a bagel, you can have pizza anytime. Duh.
Beef Sliders
Sometimes, you want a big burger. And sometimes, you want a dozen tiny burgers. The Super Bowl can and will be one of those tiny burger moments, and Chris Kronner from Oakland’s Kronnerburger has you covered with this simple slider recipe.
7-Layer Dip
7-layer dip is the Super Bowl equivalent of a Rockwellian Thanksgiving turkey. Parade this thing around and make sure everyone appreciates its beauty and architecture before the heavy drinking begins.
Turkey Chili
Rapper and Fuck That’s Delicious regular Meyhem Lauren is all about throwing a bunch of ingredients in a pot and forgetting about it. Then, come halftime, this chili is spicy, thick, and all-around A+.
Bacon-Wrapped Hot Dog
The only thing better than a hot dog is a hot dog that’s been split down the center, stuffed with cheese and a pickle, and wrapped in bacon.
Jalapeño Poppers
If we’re serving vegetables at our party, you best believe they’re going to be stuffed with cheese, wrapped in bacon, then covered in more cheese. Just trying to give the people what they want.
Classic Stuffed Mushrooms
Again, a vegetable. But, because Frank Pinello made these, they’re covered in cheese and breadcrumbs. And they’re dope.
Old Bay Potato Chips
Homemade potato chips take about a millisecond to make, but they feel mega-special and fancy as hell.
Classic Guacamole
Avocado, red onion, tomato, jalapeño, cilantro, lime. It’s pretty much impossible to fuck this one up. Just don’t go adding peas.
