Ben Pearce Pens Candid Essay on His Struggle with Depression

Manchester producer Ben Pearce today shared a personal essay about his struggles with depression, alcohol addiction, and music performance anxiety. The piece in Mixmag chronicles what went into his decision to cancel a tour in 2016 in order to take care of his mental health, and how the support of his family and friends, as well as the music community, has motivated him to continue working on music.

“The time away from touring helped me no end, although I know I’m not out of the woods yet and I may never be,” he said. “It’s helped me to understand what my demons are, and the warning signs for when they start to rear their ugly heads.”

Pearce going on to say his feelings of anxiety and extreme discomfort have not disappeared since he returned to touring in September, but that his time away has helped him develop strategies to deal with his mental health productively and be more optimistic.

“This isn’t talked about enough in music, but anybody out there who is struggling, go and seek help,” he said. “You can get through it, even if it feels like there’s no way out: there will be a light at the end. These sorts of experiences shape you as a person, so I’ll finish with a line from a song I love by punk band Neck Deep: ‘Smooth seas don’t make good sailors.’”

A study by University of Westminster last year found that musicians are more likely to suffer from mental illness. The life of a touring musician can also compound with this fact to create situations where DJing is a mental health issue.

Last year Pearce contributed his opinion to a THUMP article about the state of house and techno, and argued that mainstream exposure isn’t such a bad thing after all.

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