Hello, comrades. Welcome back to our weekly roundup of goods and ghouls that are marked down, slashed off, and generally priced at very appetizing numbers, indeed. (Sorry, we’re just a little excited that it’s fall and we might lapse into Monster Mash speak any and every day between now and Halloween.)
This week, we’ve got a smorgasbord of stuff that is big-time on sale, from a massager that will save your tight, creaky neck’s life to a planter that will make you feel rich. There’s an air fryer they’re practically giving away, and a clit-kissing toy that has glowing, NSFW reviews. Please, enjoy the tasty candies we collected by going door to door in sale sections galore.
The answer to your knotted-ass shoulders’ prayers
We stan those powerful, fancy massage guns from Theragun and other high-end brands, but not all of us can go around dropping like 300 bones to beat ourselves up with a body vibrator. Mercifully, there are affordable alternatives—like this ridiculously highly rated (five SOLID stars) deep-tissue massage gun from Youdgee that’s 38% off right now.
A sex toy that feels like five-star cunnilingus
So you’ve been curious about sex toys that feel like (really good) oral, but haven’t taken the plunge in picking one up yet? Try the Sona 2 Cruise from LELO, who make monster jam orgasm toys that make us feel like a million bucks—it’s on sale right now and the reviews are like… crazy. (Several women say they squirted for the first time when trying it out…. Do with that what you will!)
An L-shaped desk to make you feel like a CEO
Still waiting to pull the trigger on a WFH desk? Those Labor Day sales are still cranking on some spots of the ‘net, so now is the time, buddy. We love an L-shaped desk for making us feel like we’re a high-powered executive in a penthouse corner office with a door buzzer that we can sit in all day staring out at the city skyline and not having to worry about filling out a single spreadsheet for the rest of our lives. Anyway! This one’s a whopping 59% off and kinda mid-century modern chic.
The cookware/bakeware set that does it all
It’s the most popular time of year to move to a new place, and with that comes swapping in all kinds of new kitchenware when you realize what you’re missing—or what’s seen too many cooking project nightmares and needs to go. This 20-piece nonstick ceramic set has phenomenal reviews and has, like, EVERYTHING: skillets, stockpots, casserole dishes, even a muffin tray. Pick it up for less than you spent on drinks and sushi last weekend.
The planter your perfect succulent truly deserves
Is your poor baby still grinding its days in a crappy plastic container from Home Depot? No more. Urban Outfitters’ sale section has a bunch of rad planters right now, but this one is our fave.
Carhartt drip for your dog, need we say more?
Are you single? Do you have a dog? Deck out your little dude or dudette in this dog chore coat, complete with corduroy color, and let the babes of all kinds flock and fawn. (Also, it’s gonna get chilly—your dog needs it!)
Time for a new rug, again
Rugs are one of those things we’re weirdly always looking for? Like somehow we never have enough for everywhere in the house that we want one, or the living room jawn got ruined, or your roommate moved out and took it? Anyways, Etsy is a great place to buy rugs, and one of our favorite Moroccan rug stores is having a monster sale right now. There are SO MANY GOOD ONES, and these are just a couple of examples that really speak to us. We wanna get a little faded and lay in their shaggy glory.
Teppich Rug Handmade Carpet (opens in a new window)
Handmade Checkered Rug (3' x 6') (opens in a new window)
Why the fuck is this air fryer so cheap?
We don’t know, but it’s got an aggregated rating of 4.6/5 stars so it clearly does its job. Just grab it and don’t ask questions. You could be air-frying Flamin’ Hot grilled cheese sandwiches, s’mores funnel cake, or god knows what else. When it comes to air fryin’, push it to the limit.
Slurp down the savings! See ya next week.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story.
