Shopping

The Best and Most Powerful Juicers (for Health, Wealth, and Good Vibes)

The Best and Most Powerful Juicers (for Health, Wealth, and Good Vibes)

So, you’re thinking about getting into juice, huh? You surveyed the land (your neighborhood) and decided that you can do better than dropping a substantial portion of your income on $12 green juices and $7 ginger shots every couple days from the place that’s sort of on the way to the office, gym, or person you hook up with occasionally. That’s a smart decision, in our opinion, as we have numerous resident on-staff juice-heads that will support you throughout your transition into the magnificence of home juicing. VICE writer Nicolette Accardi recently wrote in her Nutribullet juicer review, “As a 27-year-old woman on a budget—living in one of the most expensive cities in America—I’m trying to cleanse my body of a bit of weekend debauchery, not purge my bank account of hard-earned cash on fancy bevs. My solution? Become intertwined in the art of juice making in the comfort of my very own kitchen.” We have walked this path many a time. Join us.

There are a couple things you should know about juicers before diving in. First, there are two kinds of juicers: centrifugal and masticating. I described this in greater detail in my own Omega masticating juicer review last summer, but here’s the most relevant bit: “Centrifugal juicers use fast-spinning blades to annihilate their contents quickly. They tear up whatever goes in, filter it through a screen, and spit out room-temperature juice. Masticating juicers, on the other hand, use a slow-spinning auger to slowly press their contents, which keeps whatever you’re juicing cold, but takes a bit longer.” Ultimately, centrifugal juicers can run from 6,000 to 12,000 rotations per minute, while masticating (also fittingly called “slow juicers”) run much slower; the Omega, by comparison, was 43 RPM. By going slower, these juicers preserve the enzymes in your produce by not heating them up; centrifugal juicers, on the other hand, can warm (thus sort of cooking) some of the raw materials of the stuff you’re wanting to fortify your tum tum. This is why masticating/slow juicers can be more expensive—there’s just more technology going on. If keeping your ingredients cool is a priority, it’s worth it, but there are also some amazing centrifugal juicers to check out.

Videos by VICE

You don’t want to read about science and physics, though—you’re trying to get jacked and spur your digestive system into functional greatness (or at least cancel out the unspeakable things you ate and drank last night). In any case, a juicer is a beautiful way to process a ton of fruits, veggies, and roots (like ginger and turmeric) into a tasty, easy to consume glass of nutrients. Here are a few of our faves.

A legendary juicer brand

Omega is undoubtedly one of the most beloved brands of home juicing. I personally love its vertical slow juicer (reviewed here), but real heads also love the horizontal, triple-stage bad boy (which is the less expensive option, if you’re trying to not go full throttle right out of the gate). In either case, Omegas rarely clog, they’re hella easy to clean, and they produce incredibly smooth, pulp-free juice that rivals whatever juice bar you used to enjoy going to. On that note, some basic math: Getting this life-changing vertical masticating juicer is the same price as buying 33 $12 juices, so if you’re a daily or every-other-day juice fiend, this thing is the price of one or two months of juice bar. Plus, no driving.

Another solid slow juicer

Of the Nutribullet slow juicer, Accardi wrote, “If you’re looking for a no-fuss juicer and want to keep your juice habit (but still save some cash in the long run), this appliance has your name all over it.” She also pointed out that it cleans “gracefully” and produces very tasty juice. She does half-marathons and stuff like that, so do what she says.

An inexpensive but excellent centrifugal option

OK, you don’t care about the minutiae of juice yields or the cell structures of produce—you just want a machine that’ll pulverize some kale, turmeric, lemon, and other stuff that you’d like to cram into your digestive system. Honestly, no shade thrown—that describes many (if not most) home juice freaks, including me at one point. This was my dependable stallion before I graduated to the Omega; over 6,000 Amazon reviewers also seem pretty enamored with it. It’s pretty easy to clean and store, and will really fuck up some greens (or whatever you put in there). What else do you need, really?

A big mouth for the ages

No, we’re not talking about your uncle here (though VICE agrees that he needs to STFU). Hamilton Beach’s pièce de résistance juicer has over 33,000 bangin’ Amazon reviews to its name, making it a produce-destroying champion of the highest order. You might not think the big mouth feed is important, but after you add up all the time you’ve spent chopping carrots in half and cutting up apples so they fit, a big mouth is what you’ll desire most. [Insert sex joke featuring “big mouth” and “tasty juice” here.]

Secure the juice, fam.


The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.