You’re grilling for the gang and everything is going beautifully. The steaks are looking straight up majestic, and the spice-rubbed salmon is glistening in the golden hour sun. Fleetwood Mac (or Nelly) is playing on your Bluetooth speaker. You reach into the cooler and grab a cold Bud Light. It’s time to eat, so you finally decide to sloppily cut into the salmon to see if it’s cooked all the way through. Gordon Ramsay suddenly appears beside you. “It’s raw!” he yells. He smashes the salmon with his fist and throws your steak—also undercooked—across the backyard. Has this happened to you?
We get it: You think of yourself as a highly trained barbecue master (read: you grill mediocre food six or eight times a year) and (believe) you can simply eyeball it and know when your meat is done. You think you can spot the proper internal temperature from a mile away; and when you fail, it’s because the charcoal is “messed up” or you “don’t usually cook this cut.”
Videos by VICE
Since humans (except Guy Fieri and possibly Ron Swanson) can’t X-ray what they’re cooking, any good cook knows they need a meat thermometer. With grilling season (aka summer) on the horizon, it’s time to swallow your pride and pick one up for yourself, or the person you know who never seems to get your burger to that perfect medium-rare. (You can still pretend you got that perfect sear from instinct and skill alone. We don’t care.)
For the classic cook
These ThermoPro instant-read thermometers are the ubiquitous, utilitarian tool of chefs across the country—with nearly 120,000 Amazon reviews (you read that right) for a 4.6-star average, the TP03 is dependable and easy as hell to use. It is accurate to within one degree, and it takes a 3 to 5 second read time (aka the length of one solid swig of beer). Oh, and a backlit screen means you can keep getting accurate reads even after the sun goes down.
TP03 (opens in a new window)
The TP19H has a slightly faster read time and a lock button so you don’t have to bend over the flames to read that temperature.
TP19H (opens in a new window)
For the fancy-ish cook
Speaking from personal experience, Thermapens get top marks. I have one of these bad boys hanging on the side of my fridge next to my knives—I absolutely love it. It reads in a second or less, which is especially great for when you’re frying food and have to move fast to poke the exact right place (and avoid overcooking). It’s accurate within half a degree, and its hefty hand-feel makes you feel like you’re really doing something serious. The display is super easy to read. All in all, this thermometer is one of my most used and most trusted kitchen tools.
Thermapen ONE (opens in a new window)
For the old school cook
Don’t trust technology? Just want to look like a rustic pitmaster? The analog Rubbermaid pocket thermometer is perfect for the cook who’s humble enough to admit that thermometers are necessary, but want to keep it as low key as possible. It’s durable, shatterproof, dishwasher safe, and designed to withstand decades of use.
For the “set it and forget it” type
The ThermoPro TempSpike is a Bluetooth thermometer with a hella long range (500 feet), so you can place that probe in your meat and then go grab a beer, hit the bathroom, check the ballgame, have sex, make some potato salad, and chase your kids around, then come back to a perfectly pink-inside burger.
TempSpike (opens in a new window)
If you’re truly committed to eyeing it, at least place this ultra classic Rubbermaid grill thermometer that always works in smokers, ovens, and even toaster ovens. With over 55,000 positive reviews on Amazon, it’s truly a great piece of equipment; if you use this AND get an internal thermometer, your skill at predicting the done-ness of your meat will skyrocket.
All hail hot meat.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.