As if my own life didn’t have enough drama (Reader, trust that it did), I decided to become a marriage counselor. In the weeks leading up to my internship, I practiced my poker face. Even the most salacious story from my group chat’s weekly recap of online dating sexcapades was not getting a Housewives-worthy facial expression out of me anymore. It didn’t take long to learn, though, that folks weren’t coming to my office for storytime. For many, it was a question of discovering what actually made them feel good and excited to explore. Sex toys—such as remote-controlled vibrators—can help jumpstart that exploration.
“If we don’t know what we like and don’t like, it’s difficult to communicate or find that with another person,” says Sarah Kelleher, LCSW and Sex and Relationships Psychotherapist. “Conversations surrounding technique, toys, and myth-busting are common. But I think they could be discussed more.”
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When it comes to introducing toys like partner-controlled vibrators into your sex life, Kelleher recommends leading with curiosity—and including your partner in the research. She offers a simple script: Hey babe, I know we talked about wanting to shake our sex life up. Do you want look up some toys to buy? I’m feeling excited!
Quick Look at the Best Remote Control Vibrators
- Best overall partner-controlled vibrator – Tease Us Set – Moxie & Bond
- Best affordable couples vibrator – Tiani 3 Remote Control Couples Massager
- Best overall Bluetooth vibrator – Lovense Lush 3
- Best budget wearable vibrator – JimmyJane Ascend 3 + Carpo Vibrating Panties
- The vibrator that’s made for the club – OhMiBod Club Vibe 3.0 Wearable Panty Vibrator
- Best wearable egg vibrator – We-Vibe Jive 2
- Best app-controlled vibrator – Lovense Hyphy App-Controlled Clitoral Vibrator
- Best suction vibrator – We-Vibe Melt App Controlled Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator
- The vibrator that can sync up to your spicy audiobooks – Vibease
- Best hands-free vibrator – Phoenix Neo Vibrator
- Best budget egg vibrator – Lovehoney Rechargeable Remote Control Small Love Egg
- Best oscillating vibrator – Lovense Osci 2 Oscillating G-Spot Vibrator
How to pick the best remote-controlled vibrator
Today, we’re taking Kelleher’s advice to heart—talking about all things remote-controlled vibrators. Whether you want to bring your partner in on the fun with a partner-controlled vibrator or you’re looking for a high-tech Bluetooth vibrator you can use on your own, I’ve selected toys that are designed with both pleasure and safety in mind.
“Approaching your body with calm, warm, curiosity rather than judgment is key,” she says.
Overwhelmed at where to start? Kelleher poses some guiding questions for exploring new toys. “What are you trying to achieve? Is it a new sensation? Is it one that offers a certain type of stimulation that is difficult to reach? Is it a versatile toy? This will help in determining what type of toy might be the best fit.”
For couples in long-distance relationships (or just experiencing some time away from each other), app-controlled vibrators can be the best place to start since they offer a way to keep sharing sexual intimacy even when IRL is off the table. Meanwhile, partner-controlled vibrators can also be a good fit when you’re exploring kinks together — like relinquishing control to your partner or arousing your partner in public.
With that in mind, I’ve combed through reviews of satisfied shoppers and spoken to experts to give you a launching point for your own explorations.
And remember: “We don’t need to judge what you do or don’t find intriguing,” says Kelleher. “We’ve had enough of that.”
Best overall partner-controlled vibrator – Tease Us Set – Moxie & Bond
The Tease Us set is high on our list for its versatility and anatomical inclusivity. Unlike a lot of sets, you can customize yours to fit you and your partner’s needs— and bodies. For example, the kit comes with one vibrating stimulation ring (Bond) and a panty vibrator (Moxie). However, if that’s not the configuration you’re looking for, you can opt for two Moxies or two Bonds. Additionally, the silicone toys have adjustable fits to help make them work best for your body.
The toys’ powerful vibration settings are controlled by an app or remote control. The remote works up to distances of 3 meters, while the We-Vibe app lets you control each other’s toys even when you’re apart from each other. To get started, you’ll configure your toy to your partner’s phone. Having the option to switch between the remote and the app makes this an ideal set for use both in-person and long-distance.
Best affordable couples vibrator – Tiani 3 remote control couples massager
Tiani’s remote control vibrator doubles as a couples massager toy. Unlike a lot of the toys on this list that are made for long-distance play, this is a great option if you’re looking for a partner-controlled vibrator that’s designed to enhance sensations during sex. (For both of you!)
With its trademark SenseMotion technology, your partner can use the motion-sensitive remote to increase the toy’s powerful vibrations with just a flick of the wrist. It features eight different intensity settings, starting at the faintest tease to an intense pulse. It’s made from certified body-safe silicone that’s designed to feel super soft and warm to the touch. The Tiani 3 is also fully waterproof, so you can use it in the bath or shower, too.
Best overall Bluetooth vibrator- Lovense Lush 3
Lovense made a big claim when it released the Lovense Lush 3, dubbing it the “most powerful Bluetooth remote control vibrator.” Hard to live up to? Yes. Did Lovense deliver? Also yes, according to many of the adult toy company’s satisfied reviewers.
While advanced Bluetooth connectivity and super-strong motor are certainly draws, what makes the Lovense Lush 3 stand out from the crowd is that IRL, it doesn’t. The toy is discreet and quiet, meaning you can use it anywhere. And we mean anywhere. With a five-hour battery life, the Lovense Lush 3 is the perfect toy to bring into your next date night with your partner.
Also noteworthy — the extensiveness of the Lovense Remote App. This isn’t your average remote-control HQ. The Lovense app has tons of curated vibration patterns for you and your partner to explore. Of course, you don’t need a partner to enjoy the toy. The Lovense Lush 3 (and the app!) can be enjoyed for solo play, too.
Best budget Wearable vibrator – JimmyJane Ascend 3 + Carpo Vibrating Panties
When it comes to wearable vibrators, the luxury sexual wellness retailer JimmyJane makes easy-to-use, minimalist toys—and lingerie to match. The Ascend 3 is a pebble-shaped clitoral stimulator that can be used as a hand-held toy or used as a wearable vibrator when paired with JimmyJane’s lace panties.
The underwear is designed with a little pocket where your typical panty liner would be, which is where you can slip the Ascend 3 once you turn the vibrato on and put it in Standby Mode. Once it’s in Standby Mode, the Ascend 3 can start taking signals from the included remote control, which you can pass to your partner for some discreet fun.
While the Ascend 3 has one of the shorter battery lives of the toys on this list at 60 minutes, we appreciate that the remote only needs a charge after every 10 hours.
A vibrator that’s made for the club – OhMiBod Club Vibe 3.0 Wearable Panty Vibrator
Another notable wearable panty vibrator comes from OhMiBod. Like the Ascend 3, it’s a clitoral stimulator. As the name suggests, this wearable vibrator is designed for taking your bumping and grinding at the club to new levels. It actually has a Club Mode, where it will vibrate to music or other ambient sounds.
That’s not its only function, though. It also has a Groove Mode, where it vibrates to already curated pulse patterns. Like a lot of the toys on this list, you can hand over the control to your partner with the included remote control.
Best wearable egg vibrator – We-Vibe Jive 2
For a different kind of wearable vibrator, consider the We-Vibe Jive 2. This wearable egg vibrator sends powerful vibrations to the G-spot. Vibrations travel through the outer tail, so you get the feeling of dual stimulation.
Unlike the wearable panty vibrators, We-Vibe’s Jive 2 can be adjusted to get the best fit for your body. However, just like the others, it’s whisper quiet, discrete enough to use at home or out in public. We also appreciate the versatility of its control settings: you can hand over the remote to your partner, or use the We-Vibe app to control the vibrator.
Best APP-CONTROLLED vibrator – Lovense Hyphy App-Controlled Clitoral Vibrator
Another pick from Lovense, this app-controlled vibrator gives all its attention to the clit. It also has a wider range of low-to-high vibrational frequencies. On the highest intensity side, it provides you with 12,000 vibrations per minute—designed for stimulating the clitoris or for nipple play. Meanwhile, the vibrator’s lower frequency side reduces the intensity to 5,000 vibrations per minute, making it better for slow, drawn-out sessions and G-Spot orgasms.
The vibrator comes with three different silicone attachments and can be controlled through the Lovense App, where you can program up to 10 different preset modes and control the vibrator, near or far.
Best suction vibrator – We-Vibe Melt App Controlled Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator
With nearly a 5-star rating on Lovehoney, the We-Vibe Melt is a quality clitoral stimulator—especially if you’re already plugged into the We-Vibe app through your other toys. The We-Vibe Melt stands out from the other picks on this list for the way it uses more than just vibration technology—it also utilizes pulsing and sucking sensations to bring you to powerful clitoral orgasms.
Plus, it has twelve different intensity levels, all of which can be controlled by you or your partner on the We-Vibe app. Truly versatile, it can also be used during sex with your partner.
The vibrator that can sync up to your spicy audiobooks – Vibease Bluetooth Vibrator
Vibease was the very first app-controlled vibrator to hit the scene, and it’s still noteworthy—especially if you’re looking for a toy without the bells and whistles, just a classic rabbit vibrator that stimulates the citrous and G-spot simultaneously.
The Vibease is Bluetooth-controlled, enabling close and long-distance control. The Vibease app also has some extra features that you won’t find with all competitors. If you’re into steamy reads, you can use the app to sync your Vibease up with what you’re reading for a more immersive, interactive experience.
Best hands-free vibrator – Phoenix Neo Vibrator
App-controlled vibrators aren’t just for play with your partner. There are plenty of Bluetooth vibrators out there that are perfect for adding more excitement to your solo sessions, too. Take the Phoenix Neo Vibrator, for example. It can be used totally hands free, thanks to its snug fit and malleability to adjust to the perfect placements for your body type.
You can use the Bluetooth Fee Connect App to control the intensity levels, pick from pre-set patterns, and even sync the Phoenix up with videos or music. And if you do choose to bring a partner in, you can hand over the controls to them.
Best budget egg vibrator – Lovehoney Rechargeable Remote Control Small Love Egg
Shopping for a toy that’s super simple? Try Lovehoney’s silicone Love Egg toy. Grab your favorite lube and slip the egg inside to start enjoying hands-free stimulation wherever you are.
The small remote control egg vibrator has seven different vibration patterns, plus four different intensity levels. Taken together, you can find your own sweet spot. We also appreciate that the Lovehoney Love Egg is designed with a long retrieval cord, keeping safety in mind. It’s got plenty of 5-star reviews on Lovehoney, with customers praising its quality and ease of use.
Best oscillating vibrator – Lovense Osci 2 Oscillating G-Spot Vibrator
For more solo internal stimulation, look to the Lovense Osci 2 Oscillating G-Spot Vibrator. This smooth, silicone vibrator is perfect for those who like deep penetration.
While there are only three intensity levels to this vibrator (which is less than most of the toys on this list), the Osci does have some different tricks up its sleeve: it has unique oscillating technology that delivers new sensations, plus its vibrations pulse instead of the traditional variety. All of this can be controlled through the toy’s app, where you can save up to 10 personalized vibration patterns.
