Big Papi’s [Barfs] Old-Ass Beard Clippings Are Back Up for Auction

No, seriously, what is wrong with you people? I know you probably personally didn’t buy David Ortiz’s beard, ensconced in a Trump-in-Saudi-Arabia-like glass orb, but I think we all need to raise our hands and claim complicity in the culture that created it. Because someone actually put Big Papi’s 2013 MVP World Series beard trimmings into a glass sphere for…memories? Jesus, what have we become?

Anyway, according to THE Darren Rovell, the “Beard Ball” the unknown owner decided they wanted to put their “precious” back on the market via Steiner Sports for some lucky person to…enjoy?

The shavings of the beard of David Ortiz after the Red Sox won in 2013 is back up for auction thru @steinersports. Last sold for $10,877. pic.twitter.com/JTaODJoZMM

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) October 25, 2017

Props to the West Roxbury barber who took Rutledge Street occupant Jimmy O’Reilly’s trimmings and shipped them over to his glassmith buddy down in Southie to bang out an $11K profit on this one. Because who could tell otherwise?