Making bongs out of unlikely objects is an art of absurdity. Almost anything can be a smoking apparatus if you’re determined enough: crab legs, potatoes, snowmen.
The guy behind the @Weirdbongs Twitter account, however, is turning this art into an experiment in prolificity. He’s made around 75 bongs out of household objects—from Nintendo consoles to crutches—and he’s still going.
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The man behind these feats of engineering (who requested to be cited as Mike Bong) told me he made his first weird bong in the summer of 2019. It was a statue of an elephant with three heads.
“I was doing a lot of homemade gravity bongs with water bottles and jugs and stuff so I was already in the weed engineer mindset,” he said, “and I was in the Salvation Army and I saw the elephant statue and I was like that’s fucking weird I bet I can smoke out of it and I decided it would be cool enough to start a gimmick account for.”
His favorite is the inflatable dinosaur suit; he attached a two-liter Coke bottle to the outside of the suit, lit the bowl, and waited for the inside of the suit to fill up with smoke. If I didn’t already know he survived, watching the video of this one would make me wonder whether this guy died asphyxiating himself with weed smoke. But he lived to make many more weird bongs, thankfully.
“Probably the most fun I had making one,” he said.
The most potent, as far as smoke by volume, was the bike tire pump, he said: the bowl is drilled into the body of the pump, and pulling the plunger out acts like a really huge carb.
Perhaps his pride and joy, however—the one he’s posted around social media so much, he’s made three Twitter accounts because he thinks the platform’s shadowbanning him for it at this point—is the Fleshpipe.
Carrying on the tradition of making extremely strange shit using Fleshlights (as if Fleshlights aren’t already extremely strange in their original, unaltered form), Mike stuck a bowl inside the hollow case, put his mouth to the business end, and inhaled.
If you want to try this at home, he claims it’s pretty easy. “Construction of the fleshpipe is really simple, I soften the shell with a blowtorch so it’s soft enough to put my bong stem inside of it and then push it through while it’s still warm so it molds around it for the vacuum seal,” Mike said.
He posted videos of this one under Snoop Dogg and Seth Rogen’s replies on Twitter, and has manage to disturb even our generation’s greatest shitposter, dril:
He’s made bongs out of just about any household item you can imagine. Mr. Potatohead, a McDonald’s breakfast burrito, a giant baby bottle, a toy cop car. The rotary phone bong, where he inhales from the speaker end of a phone cradle, really makes me laugh more than the others for some reason; it’s exactly the thing I would expect from someone who’s gotten deeply inebriated inside a dinosaur suit.
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