Sports

Broken Fingers and Scattered Ashes: The Eagles Victory Parade Delivers

Philadelphia is celebrating the Eagles Super Bowl victory today with a parade that will appropriately end at the famed “Rocky Steps” at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Fans have been lining up along the five-mile route since before dawn, and they are extremely fired up.

Not everyone had the day off, though. One man claims he was fired for calling in sick and “couldn’t be happier.” Perhaps learning a lesson from this gentleman, another dude decided to procure a sick note from his doctor so he could have a legitimate excuse. Like any normal person would, the guy broke three of his own fingers.

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Not even death can stop some Philly fans from attending the parade. One fan drove up from Florida with his grandfather’s ashes so he could spread them around the parade.

In other tales of mortality, a funeral home brought a coffin to the scene because “we buried the Patriots.”

And here’s Jason Kelce, dressed as a mummer or something, singing with Eagles fans and dropping an F-bomb on television.

Chris Long is rocking a much better look, if we’re being totally honest, with this fur coat/Allen Iverson getup:

https://twitter.com/JOEL9ONE/status/961571153956474880

We’re going to be keeping track of this all day, so keep checking back to see the latest insanity.

Here is a fan dressed as an eagle, in a tree (I enjoyed writing that sentence):

And of course, it wouldn’t be a proper celebration without a Big Dick Nick appearance:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Be8RbPelN76/?taken-by=lilmechell

And here’s the head coach Doug Pederson auditioning for a spot on the hands team: