With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, it’s time to batten down the hatches and prepare yourself for all the thoroughly unsolicited DM slides from deeply whatever people you went on equally whatever dates with over the past six to eight months, people whose last names are still saved on your phone as the app you met them through.
Thankfully, we’ve found a super simple way to brush them off, courtesy of Carly Rae Jepsen. The Canadian pop star released her new song, “Let’s Be Friends,” on Friday, co-written and produced by CJ Baran and Ben Romans, according to Pitchfork.
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“Let’s Be Friends,” inspired by “the little lie we all share to soften the blow of a breakup,” is a breezy, guitar-driven pop number that’s one of the singer’s most danceable tunes in recent memory.
The track finds Jepsen breaking it off with some rando by suggestion that they “be friends that never speak again.” We love honesty! Maybe your unsolicited DM slides will as well. If any ghosts of bad dates hop into your inbox hoping for a sequel this V-Day, just send them this song.
Dan Bumble who didn’t tip the bartender slides into your inbox? Send him this song!
Benny Grindr, that guy who said he was a dom top but wouldn’t even pull your hair without being prompted? Give him the Carly Rae kiss-off!
Alex Coffee Meets Bagel (of the Sands Point Coffee Meets Bagels) who gave you the full plot summary of every Kingdom Hearts game, including all the side games no one played, after you’d already told him you don’t play video games? Oh my god, just send him the song! Make a dinner reservation for yourself! Soft-block him! He means nothing to you, who cares!!!!
And if someone sends this to you? Well, you heard Miss Jepsen. Just agree to be “friends,” and never speak to that person again.
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