Giant Cats

This is a Thylacoleo -Australia’s “allegedly” extinct version of a lion.
 

The widespread denial of the existence of large cats—like panthers, leopards and lions and tigers—in the Australian bush, strangely defies the number of sightings by locals and budding cryptozoologists (the animal equivalent of a UFO spotter and not to be confused with a zoophile, which is someone who is sexually attracted to animals) around the country. Their theories about how these creatures ended up here vary from stories about early zoo keepers who went bust and released their hungry cats into the wild, to drunk animal handlers on the Michael Jackson 1987 world tour and right through to more credible stories about them being the descendants of the panthers that US soldiers kept as mascots during the war.

One of the most popular areas for sightings is the Grampions in Victoria, where livestock is frequently found missing faces and limbs. We caught up with Paul Clacher, who spends most of his time gallivanting around the country investigating all things urban myth. Think of him as Steve Irwin meets Ghost Busters, add a whip for protection and you have one very interesting man.

Vice: So you’re entirely convinced that there are giant cats in the bush?

Paul: If you had asked me the same question prior to 1991, like most people I would probably have laughed at you. But, one day during that year, I was fossicking for gold and came across a footprint impression in soft brown clay that was six or seven inches in diameter and definitely that of a large cat. Trust me, if you had been stalked by one and heard its blood curdling growl less than 100 metres away, you would be convinced too. I have also seen the remnants of animal carcases that have to have been the work of the big cats. No other animal eats the insides out first.

But have you actually seen one?

No. But on my web site there are around 85 witness sightings from all over.

We have heard some doozies in regards to how your big cats came to be here. What are you going with?

I believe that really early on the Chinese, Egyptians, Russians and the Phoenicians came here for our gold. In fact, recent tests on the facemask of King Tut apparently show that the gold comes from Gympie. I have also heard that kangaroo bones were unearthed in a burial vessel near one of the Egyptian Pyramids. One of the animals worshiped by the Egyptians was the cat. It’s a stretch, I know, but you see where I’m going with this.

So do you have support from anyone else on this?

Not really. However, I have been advised that one state government body not only knows of their existence but is also in possession of a frozen carcass. That’s what I heard anyway.

LANGLO WEST