God bless Scott Sabol. Bless him for trying. Bless him for thinking of some way to get some pub. Bless him for dealing with what must be an aggressively itchy beard by now. Bless him for having to deliver the weather in Cleveland in January.
Sabol, weatherman for Fox 8 in Cleveland, has decided not to shave again until the Browns win a game. The Browns have not won a game. This year. Not since Dec. 13, 2015, actually, but this is only Day 85 of Sabol’s pact. They may not win again this season. They are horrifically bad, after all. Won’t someone just give Sabol a razor?
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Every day, Sabol goes on TV and serves as a one-man reminder of agony for Browns fan. Do you see his beard? That means you’re still bad. Still losers—endlessly so.
What happens if the Browns don’t win until 2017? Will Sabol’s beard keep growing? We’ve seen what happens when television anchors let their beards hopelessly grow. It leads to poor choices.
Sabol has done this before, too. He once refused to shave until temperatures rose above 60 degrees and got all hirsute again as Cleveland rode out a Cavaliers win streak last year. Previously, he never got past 74 days without shaving. That was until this Browns season, which has his all-time record beat by a week and a half—and counting.
Winter is coming, Cleveland. Sabol will tell you just how bad it is:
That’s roughly five inches for every Browns loss so far, of which there are 12. The good news for Browns fans, and bad news for Sabol? The team has a bye this week.
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