Jim Harbaugh is a football coach, born and bred. Everything he does, says, and thinks is meticulously planned with efficiency, reason, and execution. If he takes risks, it’s a Hail Mary play that more often than not, ends in personal victory. Off the field, his emotions are hidden, removing vulnerability as he moves onto the next game plan. Somehow, this coaching mindset has proven successful in both his love life and fashion choices.
Let us start with the romantic story of how Jim, the now head football coach at his alma mater, the University of Michigan, met his beautiful wife, Sarah:
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Which is creepier: the reminiscent tale of how Jim Harbaugh “met” his wife in the parking lot of a P.F. Chang’s in Las Vegas, or his lack of facial expressions while telling his story of love at first sight? Both are rather discomforting, but what really cues the goosebumps is that it actually worked.
Now, don’t assume this was a young, naive Jimmy just starting out his glamorous life and seeking true love—this awkward take out encounter occurred in 2006 after 14 seasons in the NFL, five seasons coaching, 10 years of marriage, three kids, and a divorce. Even the nice lady interviewing him is a little cautious of the nine consecutive phone calls that followed the initial courting, but his determination and drive to the goal line is fairly consistent with Harbaugh’s coaching mindset.
I could tell she was a winner all the way.
Spoken like a true coach, Jim.
But wait—there’s more!
Now that we’ve established Jim Harbaugh is persistent, goal oriented, and also slightly stalker-creepy, let’s address the iconic pleated khakis we all love to hate. Coaching from the sideline requires physical activity and demands comfort, but for Jim, the reason for not only wearing, but embracing dad pants is, once more, on brand with Harbaugh coaching ideals: time management.
If you wear them every day then you don’t have to spend time thinking about what to wear.
Again, which is creepier: Jim Harbaugh defending his pro-khaki lifestyle, or giving a vividly detailed explanation of himself standing in front of the mirror—presumably naked—deciding on what to wear? Notice how his game face remains focused, never breaking eye contact with the interviewer, who is clearly experiencing the same chilling uneasiness that accompanies a conversation with coach.
Even his older, supportive brother, John, refuses to support this crime against men’s fashion because he is “not a khaki guy,” but he accepts him anyway because that is what unconditional love allows you to overcome.
Thankfully, Sarah Harbaugh—whose character was initially in question for answering one of nine phone calls—is taking a stand against her husband’s nerd trousers and advocating for an end to dad pants everywhere. So yes, maybe Sarah fell for his deer-in-headlights charm, but at least she recognizes that not every play call her husband makes is a good one.
