It’s time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don’t know how to handle the world:
Cry-Baby #1: Robert Klemish
Videos by VICE
Screencap via Google Maps
The incident: A man asked some people to roll him a cigarette. They refused.
The appropriate response: Rolling your own cigarette.
The actual response: He allegedly shot someone in the ass.
On Monday of this week, landlord Robert Klemish was at a house he owns in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
According to police, Klemish asked two of his tenants that were living at the property—a man named Michael Karasevich and an unnamed 17-year-old—to roll him a cigarette. They refused.
This is when, according to other people who were at the house, Klemish started threatening to shoot people.
Karasevich and the unnamed 17-year-old reportedly locked themselves in a bathroom to get away from Klemish, who allegedly shot through the door. A bullet hit Karasevich in the ass, causing non-life threatening injuries. The 17-year-old was unharmed.
Klemish was charged with aggravated assault and discharging a firearm. According to a report on WNEP, Klemish claims he fired the gun by accident.
Cry-Baby #2: Three unnamed Scottish women
Screencap via Google Maps
The incident: Some women were asked to shut up during a screening of 50 Shades of Grey.
The appropriate response: Shutting up.
The actual response: They attacked the man who asked them to be quiet.
On Valentine’s Day, the Grosvenor Cinema in Glasgow held a daytime screening of 50 Shades of Grey.
The screening, at which alcohol was available, reportedly began to get a little rowdy.
According to witnesses quoted in the Daily Record, people were shouting and “several incredibly drunk women [were] vomiting in the aisle.”
Three women in particular are reported to have been getting very excited, and were allegedly screaming at the screen as the film played.
Witnesses say a man who was watching the film with his girlfriend asked the three women to be quiet. Instead of taking his advice, the women leapt out of their seats and attacked him.
The Daily Record interviewed a man named Michael Bolton (not that Michael Bolton, presumably) who witnessed the aftermath. “Besides being the worst film I have ever seen, three women were being arrested and put in a police van when we arrived,” he said. “One woman was in handcuffs and another two were in tears.”
He also claimed to have seen theater workers “tidying up the blood” as he entered for the next showing. “Only in Glasgow are police called to the cinema,” he said.
Scottish Police confirmed that they had arrested three women for breach of the peace and disorder.
Who here is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here, please:
Winner: The brake line cutter!!!
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