Cynthia Nixon’s Campaign Shaken by Terrible-Sounding Bagel Order

Cynthia Nixon appeared at Zabar’s on the Upper West Side this weekend to condemn claims, made in an anonymously sourced campaign flier sent out across the city, that she is, “silent on the rise of anti-Semitism.” Gothamist was there to record her talking about her children’s Jewish grandparents… and then captured her ordering a very silly bagel, indeed. Damnit Cynthia, you were so close.

Here for your casual judgement is New York State gubernatorial candidate Cynthia Nixon ordering a cinnamon raisin bagel with lox, red onions, tomatoes, capers, and (thank god) plain cream cheese.

Things get off to a pretty rocky start: No one over the age of six should ever be eating a cinnamon raisin bagel.

The bespectacled man working the counter is good-spirited but clearly skeptical about this order. He confirms the toppings several times but Nixon is resolute. “Yeah, sweet and salty, you’re right,” she proclaims by way of explanation, and I really want to think she’s on to something. Capers and raisins together is very “winter pasta salad,” but by no means should anyone pair smoked seafood with anything sweet.

Her campaign strategist presented this as ideologically in keeping with Nixon’s political platform.

As we've said from the beginning of this campaign, @CynthiaNixon is running to represent those forgotten New Yorkers who need someone to stand up for their views, even if those opinions are out of the mainstream or even unpopular.https://t.co/AYA0RXqVNV

— Rebecca Katz (@RebeccaKKatz) September 10, 2018

And Nixon herself took this as an opportunity to remind everyone that she “makes” “raw” oatmeal for her wife (which I am generously interpreting as overnight oats because otherwise she just… pours oats into a bowl?).

.@CynthiaNixon attempts to justify a cinnamon-raisin bagel w cream cheese and lox: “That’s my go-to … I t’s not uncooked oatmeal but it’s pretty delicious and I say — don’t yuck my yum. Don’t knock it til you try it … sweet and salty, it’s an unbeatable combination.” pic.twitter.com/mGk1qiUY5L

— Jimmy Vielkind (@JimmyVielkind) September 10, 2018

It is the opinion of this author that the Bad Bagel order could have been a stunt. Nothing gets New Yorkers agitated (enough to take note of the upcoming election on Thursday of this week) like mangling one of the many foods to which the city lays preeminent claim.

Here we are, a mere three days out from the primary, reminding you that even if she pairs salmon and cinnamon, Cynthia Nixon is still not dating someone who would garnish a Kwanzaa cake with corn nuts.