Backed Hard: The Best Stuff We (Actually) Bought in December

Happy (almost) New Year, and welcome to 2023’s final installment of Backed Hard, the monthly article in which your loyal VICE shopping editors dump out our digital rucksacks of Aesop hand soap, AeroPress pour over kits, crotchless panties, and everything else that made its way into our shopping carts in December.

As we sprint toward 2024 in our five-inch inseams, we would love nothing more than to share the presents we purchased for our loved ones/situationships/weird uncles, as well as the stuff we ordered for ourselves (well-deserved, of course) in the throes of the ongoing Black Friday and holiday sales. We sniffed out the best bling from SSENSE’s big winter sale, aesthetic ice tubs for our White Elephant parties, and fresh Nike sneakers. We found the best last-minute gifts for boomer parents, doomsday preppers (kind of the same thing, to be fair), and that hot girl with The Fifth Element-red hair who is still charging her iPhone behind the bar.

It’s been a year of countless sales, deals, steals, and splurges (that infrared home sauna = also well-deserved), and we want to thank you from the metaphorical bottom of our bottomless mimosa for shopping with us. It has been an honor and a privilege to serve you with heritage cookware, couple’s sex toys, and affordable mid-century modern furniture.

Let’s cruise the mall one more time before 2024.

A ridiculously cute and aesthetic flip phone

I’ve been an iPhone user since 2011, but when I laid my eyes on Samsung’s new Galaxy Z Flip 5 phone, I knew that it had a special je ne sais quoi that just might shake me out of my Apple devoteeism. At VICE’s shopping section, we peruse thousands of products every month in search of *the sauce~*, and this compact little flip phone just has it. First of all, I love the flippy aspect; it harkens back to simpler times of MySpace, peak indie sleaze, and early Animal Collective [eyes well with tears]. But thankfully, if you do adopt this lovely bb phone, you don’t have to sacrifice the technological advancements of the past two decades; it’s loaded with the latest Android apps and software, and has an incredible camera (and even a front screen so you can take selfies and snaps without even opening the phone to its full-sized touchscreen). What’s more, it comes in genuinely interesting colors, including lavender and mint green; mine is pink! I’ve become a two-phoned person just so I can carry around this lovely little device. —Hilary Pollack

You can’t save the world, but you can maybe save your beard from getting messy

I recently (almost) got over a flu that’s lasted about four weeks. The coughing simply would not go away, so I started looking to aggressively boost my nutrient intake, leading to a reignited obsession with smoothies (and hot toddies, but that’s a different problem). I love using glass straws when I have a smoothie—it just elevates the experience, and also helps me not get frozen purple stuff in my beard. Everyone should own glass straws. These ones from Hiware are my favorite, and are affordable to boot. —Adam Rothbarth

This luxurious duvet is over $100 off

I’ve slowly but surely been upgrading my sleeping set-up. The first orders of business were finding the perfect firm-yet-squishy mattress, donating all of my sheets that aren’t linen or bamboo (seriously, don’t miss out on bamboo sheets if you’re a hot sleeper), and unfurling my kingly West Elm faux fur blanket for the winter. But I still needed a new duvet, because my then-duvet was a synthetic, deflated one I bought from Target in 2016 that has never really kept me toasty. For its replacement, I decided to ball-out on a plush, goose-feather- and down-filled duvet, and found this luxurious Serta duvet for more than 50% off. This baby keeps me warm without weighing me down (as opposed to my former process of stacking on tons of blankets and overheating). It’s the closest I’ll ever get to hugging a cloud. —Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp

Retro red kicks

I’m a sucker for normcore sneakers with Y2k flair, and the Nike Vomero 5s are exactly that. .The reflective silver detailing contrasts with the red fora serious pop of color that complements any gorpcore outfit. —Nicolette Accardi

The Noguchi lamp of solar-powered lights

I was sorely underprepared the last time my power went out, which wasn’t just inconvenient, but slightly embarrassing as a grown-ass woman. Next time, instead of burning a $38 scented candle for hours like a fake rich person, I will simply pull out this solar-powered lamp and charger from Bespoke Post. Just charge it in the sun, inflate it with your breath, and plug your smartphone into its power bank to get back on TikTok get in touch with your power company.. Not only will it last for a whopping 50 hours, but the slightly Japandi design reminds me of my favorite Noguchi lamps. Buy one for yourself, one for your doomsday-prepper Dad, and one for the gorpcore, minimalist design buff in your life. —Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp

A gorgeous (and affordable) ice tub

I threw a little white elephant party earlier this month that completely devolved into twisted, drunken chaos was the perfect tasteful and festive way to end the year, and as a lover of natural wine, I knew I’d need a proper beverage tub or ice bucket in which to keep all my pêt-nats chilled and ready for pouring. I scooped this double-walled, hammered stainless steel bad boy from Amazon, andit looks about four times as expensive as its actual price tag.. If you ever throw parties, consider this a must-have for adding a touch of class (and keeping bevs ice-cold). —Angel Kilmister

A rustic whiskey and wine tote for Real Adults

For years, my partner and I would show up to parties or dinners with random tote bags full of really good wine or spirits. That’s a very cool thing to do, no doubt, but what’s even cooler is having a waxed cotton, leather-trimmed Tom Beckbe bag to carry your wine (or the French oaked Maker’s Mark you’re going to share with your buddy Kevin) and let everyone know you take it really seriously. Protect the bag, because nothing’s more important than your alcohol.—Adam Rothbarth

The perfect rich, sensi-skin-friendly moisturizer

If you’ve scrolled through your TikTok #fyp any time in the last few months and your algo is even remotely similar to mine, you’ve seen loads of rave reviews about the skincare line Dieux, which focuses on gentle, active ingredients with proven clinical results. I was immediately drawn to its ethos and packaging, and after trying a few of its products, I’m now obsessed with Instant Angel, its skin-barrier-coddling, nourishing face cream. Some really smart chemists made it! It’s fragrance-free and ultra-moisturizing without being greasy and really helped my face after an unfortunate too-much-retinol incident. Plus, it also comes in gorgeous gender-neutral packaging. Trust me, I’m an angel. —Angel Kilmister

A home karaoke mic for infinite entertainment

I am a CKA (certified karaoke addict) and I can’t always drag myself and my friends all the way to a bar to rip my latest rendition of “You Just Haven’t Earned It Yet, Baby.” Sometimes, karaoke needs to happen at 10 a.m., or after the bars close when you’ve brought six friends and three randos back to your home, or impromptu in the middle of the workday when you feel like belting out “Since U Been Gone” would be cathartic. At these moments, having a home karaoke device is crucial, and the best one I’ve tried for the price is StageSound’s wireless mic. It has way better sound than comparable Bluetooth karaoke mics, plus includes a voice canceling function for making your own karaoke tracks, four different connection options, color-shifting RGB lights, and up to 10 hours of playback on one charge. Whether you go for all 10 hours in a single marathon is up to you. —Hilary Pollack

For humans on the go

As a person who is horrid at making sure their phone is constantly charged, but also panics when out and about with 10% phone life remaining, this portable power bank has been a game changer. I love that all cords are built in and there’s a cable for any device—iPhone, AirPods, laptop (!) — and the AC plug easily folds up and down so you’re not dealing with extra power cubes or additional cables. I’ve used this so much, I actually bought one as a very practical stocking stuffer for my mom this year. —Kate Spencer

The perfect fisherman’s beanie

I’m not a fisherman, but you wouldn’t know that from looking at the beanies I’ve been wearing lately. The first hat I’ve currently got in rotation is the Filson Fleet Watch Cap, which is an extremely high quality and super warm hat, albeit slightly taller than your normal fisherman’s. Meanwhile, the Topo Designs Global Beanie is the ideal height, thickness, and texture to sit on top of your head and keep you warm make everyone think you can catch a tuna. —Adam Rothbarth

Spray for a voluminous mane

[Sigh] My hair is sooo flat. I’ve tried countless products with no results, but the Full Blown Volume Dry Texturizing Spray by Fekkai actually gets the job done and adds big-time life to my pin-straight locks. You just spray ten inches away from your hair and tousle with your fingers for added oomph. —Nicolette Accardi

Goblincore bling

It’s hard to find cool, non-corny jewelry that is 925 sterling silver and doesn’t cost hundreds of dollars. It’s even harder to find pieces that look like wearable sculptures, but Harlot Hands pulls it off with its Gothic cyber fairy designs. I snagged this necklace during SSENSE’s big winter sale (which is still popping, BTW), because it looks like something a wizard would entrust to one of his dearest, drippiest sword-slinging homies. —Mary Frances “Francky” Knapp

See you in the New Year, rockstar.

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The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.