Pornography and decent music finally come together on Deep Porn, a nineteen-track compilation of beats meets teets where producers like Brother Marquis of 2 Live Crew, DJ Godfather and George Clinton sample porn stars like Rebecca Lord, Gina Ryder and Midori. VICE put the compilation up against the real thing, testing three pornstars’ skills in both the audio and visual departments.
RAYLENE
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“Come With Me” is one of AK1200’s two jungle songs on Deep Porn, the other being “Pornstar Style,” a torrid threesome with Danny Breaks and Alicia Rio that’s out on drum and bass label Moving Shadow. LA-based AK1200 does a pretty good number on Raylene, using her moans and giggles in stuttering loops over a catchy beat. He even manages to capture porn’s cheesy vibe as Raylene whispers “come with me” over the old school bass. Not as good as “Pornstar Style,” but more fun than your average drum and bass snoozefest.
Couch Tails finds Raylene masterfully playing two roles in this perfectly set up flick. Bobby Vitale plays a patient lying on the couch telling Dr. Feelright (Raylene) about his increasingly overwhelming sexual fantasies. In one, Raylene takes on two guys at once, one being my new favorite porno guy, Ian Danials. Brilliantly cast as “Gothic Man,” Danials looks and fucks like Rowan Atkinson of Mr. Bean fame –adorable and way sexier than tanned jocks any day! Raylene does a pretty fucking good job playing a psychiatrist, even confronting Vitale about the possibility that his fantasies are caused by repressed homosexuality. When he angrily asks “What? You think I’m fucking gay just cuz I like seeing girls getting fucked by other guys? Give me the gay test, I’ll do the fucking paperwork!” Raylene slyly gets down on her knees and tells him “It’s more of an oral exam.” Classic. VHS or CD: These two are equally good.
HEATHER HUNTER
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A strange track from Cypress Hill’s DJ Muggs, who seems to be branching out into bad house. With wannabe epic drum rolls and a This Is House Vol. 100 vibe, Muggs doesn’t exactly give Heather Hunter much to work with. It gets even cheesier when she says stuff like “Do you feel it?” and “This pussy’s here to stay.”
In The Look 2000, Hunter plays a “smart and sassy” photographer for Players magazine whose assignment is to go out and photograph the look of the new millennium, or as her sleazy boss says a million times in a row, “We need a new look, we need new blood!” Unfortunately, Hunter’s ideas for the newest look are pretty uninspired, so forget any ideas you have of space-age porn outfits, minimal lounges and retrofuture sex. Since when is torn denim in a classic 50s garage a “millennium look”? Boo to that. CD or VHS: Both are pretty forgettable.
STEPHANIE SWIFT
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The best use of porn samples in a hip hop track, easily. Tha boyz and tha lesbianz will both fall in love with Stephanie Swift’s voice after about one second of this track, which opens with her asking “You want me to suck on it?” before busting into seriously sex moans and mmhmms that are, for once, believable.
Knockout has high plot ambitions that almost makes it into one of those “married couple trying to spice up their marriage style” pornos. Except that there’s a lot of hardcore ass fucking mixed in with the overly gay plot. Swift is a ballerina who’s travelling the country stripping to support her grandmother (barf) and help a down and out boxing loser who’s trying to get back into the ring (also barf). Along with the fancy script and fancy cover, Wicked use some fancy lighting with the overall effect of making Knockout pretty fancy. CD or VHS: If you’re a boy, the track. If you’re a girl, the movie.
