I’ve never particularly empathised with rollercoasters. I don’t really like the feeling of my jowls, spirit and internal organs not sharing the same terminal velocity. The internet has a sterling anthology of theme park ride videos that only confirm my fear – the fat child’s haunting refrain of “JANICE, I’M FALLING” still gives me upper lip sweats.
But DMX is less of a milksop than me, throwing caution to the wind and mounting a slingshot ride resulting in our new favourite video of famous people doing normal shit. For a man whose voice sounds like he pebbledashes his toast – and whose video for “Ruff Ryders’ Anthem” showcases him riding motorbikes on their hind legs and nostrils like bisons – he doesn’t half bleat. Or at least until he discovers he’s being filmed and then returns back to full DMX mode.