Doug Ford Is Running for Premier, Baby!

The perpetually pissed off Doug Ford—brother of former Toronto mayor, the late Rob Ford—has announced he is running for leader of the Ontario Progressive Conservative Party. (And considering how disliked the ruling Ontario Liberals are right now, let’s make no bones about it, the winner of the PC leadership race stands an excellent chance of being the next premier of the province.)

During a press conference held in his mother’s basement on Monday, Ford announced his plans to run to a group of journalists thirsty for the hot mess of clicks that a Ford being in the political game brings. Ford’s announcement comes at a time of upheaval for the party after former leader Patrick Brown resigned over sexual harassment allegations, and party president Rick Dykstra resigned over sexual assault allegations.

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This isn’t Ford’s first time entering into the political fray, he served as a city councillor from 2010 to 2014 (in the ward where his brother had been councillor for a decade) and, in 2014, ran for mayor of Toronto (after his brother dropped out of the race during his battle with a rare form of cancer). The elder Ford lost the mayoral race to John Tory, a former PC leader.

Since Brown stepped down, the party has announced Vic Fedeli as the interim party leader and that they will be holding a leadership election in March prior to the province’s general election in June. It is safe to say that the party is in immense turmoil right now and it is also safe to say that the de facto leader of “Ford Nation” will only add to the insanity.

The millionaire son of a businessman told journalists that “this is truly a critical moment for our party, for our people, and for the future of our province,” and railed against the nefarious “elites.”

Now, in service to any readers outside of Toronto who aren’t totally familiar with the extended Ford family, here is an incomplete list of things working against Doug Ford, Ontario Premier:

– He was an alleged hash dealer
– Not the greatest brother
– He refused to go in the dunk tank during VICE Canada’s 2015 Election Special
– He lost to John Tory, known loser of elections
– He somehow made Rob the likeable Ford
– Doug once called Rob Ford, the “White Obama”
– He once got in a fight with Margaret Atwood, then said he didn’t know who she was
– He once flipped off a plane that he thought was following him (actually, this kinda rules)
– He said a shower station for bikers would result in “hanky-panky”
– He gave out $20 bills to constituents for Christmas
– He tried to get the city to build a ferris wheel on Toronto’s waterfront
– Said the following sentence: ‘You can be racist against people that eat little red apples’
– Tried to downplay his brother using an anti-Semitic slur by talking about his Jewish doctor, dentist, lawyer and accountants.

This is by no means the complete list. I’m sure this list will grow as the campaign goes on.

Follow Mack Lamoureux on Twitter.