One of the most wonderful things about the internet is when you discover a new pleasure button in your sick brain.
The best is when that feeling comes from something you don’t expect—such as when it emerges from a short video of a van in Ottawa intentionally hitting puddles to splash the fuck out of pedestrians. Don’t believe me that this video hits those weird, particular pleasure centres in your brain? Well, take a look for yourself below.
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I don’t know exactly why it’s so satisfying,—maybe because all of us yearn to do this every time it rains—but it certainly is. The 45-second video filmed on July 27 starts out with a rear-facing dash cam looking at a van. The vehicles begin moving and enter an intersection we see two people begin to cross the road. At this point the van veers to the side of the road—you can almost ALMOST hear the Jaws theme being to play—and it smokes a puddle and just fucking drenches this couple.
The driver has to quickly swing back into the middle of the road as to not rear end the fuck out of a red Toyota. However, like a puppy after its first rainstorm, the driver is drawn to the water and immediately moves over to the side of the road once they have successfully avoided hitting the parked car. No puddle is safe from this van! When a man appears walking with an umbrella the driver only goes edges closer. Hitting a massive puddle with pinpoint precision the can sends so much water up in the air that the walker disappears for a second.
When I say this person gets fucking covered… they get fucking covered.
The third victim of the renegade splasher seemingly gets off easily. The driver carries on their merry way fucking about on the road when a person comes into frame. Our driver is already on the side of the road, desperately searching for a big puddle to smoke but no avail. The driver even speeds up to make the most of what their working with—it’s not the size of the wave but the motion of the ocean—but the most they get is a little spray going this person’s way. The person looks annoyed but nothing more.
You can taste the driver’s disappointment.
The van then pulls off and turns out of the frame presumably taking the driver home where they can surprise their family by whipping buckets of water at them. As reported by the CBC, this video was shot near the University of Ottawa and has been viewed over 800,000 times since being uploaded. The people at Black and McDonald—the company that owns the van—were, shall we say, not too pleased about this video and relieved the driver of his duties.
“This is an isolated incident and the individual is no longer employed with Black & McDonald,” reads a Facebook post by the company. An Ottawa police officer also stated the man driving the van was fired.
Thankfully for the now unemployed driver, it’s still summer which means splash parks are still operating and maybe one or two are looking for a person with some experience and moxie.
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