Father’s Day Gifts for Your Boomer Dad That Say ‘I Love You, Champ’

Boomer Dad’s den is an art walk of Kirkland socks, rogue Chapsticks, and vinyl that, like him, has aged into a choice vintage treasure. Because Boomer Dad actually remembers seeing Bo Diddley rail on his Gretsch guitar and having the Byrds play at his high school dance (shoutout Palisades High ‘65)—and he won’t let you forget it. Boomer Dad was here long before Shrek symposiums, he has seen all the extreme political pendulum-swinging of the 20th century, and he was on the ground floor of the rise and fall of the Cabbage Patch Kids. He has ridden the sands of time hard, man, and he’s got the Tevas to prove it.

All of this puts a lot of pressure on finding him a Father’s Day present. We, as millennial children, are known to be an individualistic generation that will accept nothing less than making Steve Miller pop out of a cake for the old man. At least, that’s how it feels sometimes. [Self-flagellates like the bad guy in The Da Vinci Code.] We just want the best for Dad, damnit. And like Boomer Dad, we prolly have a toxic exceptionalism complex.

So here’s an idea: Stop trying to live up to the impossible task of matching a Boomer Dad’s epic, organic life experiences. Please. He has literally seen everything good, bad, and amazing from the raddest of decades. Finding him a great Father’s Day gift doesn’t mean one-upping that reality, you sweet, ambitious psycho, but rather, simply giving him something he needs, or likes, and thereby giving him the greatest gift of all: A message that you get him. It could be practical (make a Chapstick bouquet!), or a harbinger of simple joy (a new whiskey brand). It could be a techie gadget, a gardening accessory, or a new cooler. It just has to be something that makes him go “Oh, yeah. I’ve been needing one of those.”

Boomer Dad doesn’t need to see more. He just needs to feel seen. Especially by a Big Mouth Billy Bass.

Does he have an iPad yet?

They’re great for anyone, but especially boomer parents. Chances are that your boomer parents want an iPad for a smorgasbord of reasons, but especially because they’re user-friendly, the novelty factor is still there since your parent probably doesn’t need it for work, and their friends probably have one. And “Did any generation in U.S. history embody ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ with the same vigor as the baby boomers?”, asks Daniel Indiviglio in an article on parental iPad lust in The Atlantic. The answer: Nope. They also won’t care if you get the gold one or pick up one from the latest generation (which is a great way to snag a deal and impress them at the same time!). They’re not millennials! Their identity doesn’t depend on it!

The iPad holder from ‘Terminator’

Or maybe dad has been propping up that iPad for years with his slippery Planters Nuts fingers. Give him the next best thing to a third arm (this).

A fishing vest that blows all his buddies’ gear out of the water

If there’s one thing your dad likes more than waking up at 4 a.m. to sit in a boat and drink Coors all day go fishing, it’s all the gear that comes with it. We’re sure he’s got his fishing pole and tackle box all squared away, but what’s his fishing wardrobe looking like? Sure, he can rock that same old single-pocket flannel shirt he’s been wearing on every single fishing trip since you were a child… or he can upgrade his kit with a fishing vest. Made by Columbia’s PFG label (trust us, he’ll know what that is), the Henry’s Fork V Vest has all the pockets, zippers, and hooks that any fisherman worth his weight in light beer would need to make sure he’s able to finally catch the big one™.

Have David Sedaris show him how to write his memoirs

You know how at the dishwashing tail end of the party, everyone will start feeling sleepy until Dad whips out a random banger of hitchhiking story? It’s time to actually get him to write his lore down, and author David Sedaris’ Masterclass [screen fades to black] is the perfect fit: It’s accessible, hilarious, and will get him into the basics of what he needs to do to just start writing and having fun. “I’ll talk about connecting with people,” explains Sedaris in the class trailer. “I’ll talk about keeping a diary”. Chapters including, “Turning Observations Into Stories” and “Writing About Loved Ones” will make it a natural fit for Boomer Dad’s memoirs.

He still uses a cassette deck

… But he hasn’t leveled up since the 90s. Fix that, so he can slide in his band’s old singles and get you a knee-slappin’ listen. This Panasonic boy is a cassette recorder-CD player-FM radio hybrid with great sound quality on dual stereo speakers. If and when your pops decides to enter the 21st century, this boombox can also play MP3 or WMA music files courtesy of an integrated USB drive, or stream audio via Bluetooth. Playing his favorite tunes off his iPad into this bad boy? Puttering around the garage, cleaning up the yard, and firing up the grill never sounded so good.

You’re still not allowed to touch his record collection

Even though they’re some of your dad’s most prized possessions, his record storage situation still leaves something to be desired. Simple, affordable, and easy to visualize alongside the record player he’s had for over four decades, this mid-century-inspired stand includes four sizable compartments for storing his favorite albums.

Anything Carhartt

When in doubt, go for the cargo shorts (so much Chapstick storage). Jokes aside, Carhartt has consistently advocated for the working class, and has been around since before your boomer dad was even born, so you know it has his respect. These are also the ideal body prop for his obligatory “Let’s rock ‘n roll” exit line.

For spying on the neighbors

Who’s making all that noise, at this time of night? Leave that up to dad and his 6,000 lumen strong face spotlight, baby. Ideal for general neighborhood nosiness, venturing into the basement, or going on night hikes. Follow the beacon.

A departure from Kirkland’s finest

Help him venture out from his usual mark-down jug from Costco (no shame; we love), with a nice Irish whiskey. Redbreast is one of VICE’s favorite Irish whiskey, and this 12 Year Old Cask Strength iteration is a terrific gifting bottle—and a big step up from the well whiskey he’s been ordering at the local saloon.

He’s gotten into wine” “as a hobby”

Your dad’s been a staunch beer drinker for years, but since he’s hit retirement (and finally has you out of the house), he’s got plenty of time—and, more importantly, money—to spend on trying new things. While your parents have been slowly working their way through Costco’s wine selection as they develop their “palate,” your dad’s managed to rack up quite a collection. Leave the kitchen fridge for food and send dad a wine fridge. It’s only a matter of time before he starts referring to it as his “wine cellar.”

For reading his Tom Clancy novels

If he’s the man who still believes luck, pluck, and a little hard luck will get you wherever you need to be in life, it might be time to give Boomer Dad a magnifying glass for reading the fine print of his favorite adventure paperback, as well as examining the issues with 1950s toxic positivity.

A hat that’s also an oracle

No address. No phone. No money. No clock. THE DREAM, DUDE. This hat can end up in one of two places: 1) on a gaslighting, straight sk8r boy in Bushwick with one painted fingernail, or 2) on your dad’s precious head. Its fate is up to you.

A wagon for his Catholic guilt

Whether he’s using it as storage in the garage or using it as a yardwork companion, this puppy carries up to 400 pounds of logs, debris, and feels.

Getting old hurts

It doesn’t matter how many times your dad says he’s not in pain, the sheer severity of the guttural groan he emits when getting up off the couch implies otherwise. While you might not get him to go and see a specialist about his aching knees or sore back, there’s a good chance he’ll be willing to give a massage gun a shot. A VICE team favorite, Olsky’s massage gun isn’t just great for working out stiff muscle tissue, it’s also one of the most affordable options on the market at well under $50.

Where does he get those hankies?

It’s time to add in a new set of players to the rotation (just… use all the sports metaphors) of his mysterious pocket hankies. These cotton, plaid hankies actually get softer with every wash, and will last him years. Better for dad, and for the planet. Gross for his pants pockets, but whatever. It’s his life.

Lean on me

Frankly, anyone who is over the age of toddler needs one of these. Why would you not want to cushion your knees—which are so prone to injury—with a slab of plushy, portable stuff? He can bring it to the garden, for tinkering on house stuff, and praying to the Jazz24 Radio gods.

New sneakers to wear to the beachside grill/dinner cafe

Is your dad a West Coast boomer dad? Does he donate to the Surfrider Foundation, own a canvas fisherman hat that smells real bad, and bury gold in the yard for “when we go back to the standard?” These are his dress shoes for dinner (to be worn with the crispest of jeans), and like him, they’re perfect.

He’s got a pair for every occasion

We get it. Some dads are devoted to the Air Monarch, and others have a proclivity for New Balance. Whether he was a runner in his younger years, or just thinks that the Massachusetts-based brand’s sneakers are “smart,” there’s no denying that New Balance has the dad demographic on lock. If your dad is anything like ours, there’s a good chance he’s been buying the same sneaker year after year, with previous years’ pairs relegating down from “going out to eat with the wife” to “the pair he mows the lawn in.” Give your dad a new pair of his favorite fresh white sneakers to kick of the summer, and let last year’s pair earn its wings (aka: become the pair he grills in on Sunday afternoons).

It’s time he got flowers

Has a Boomer Dad ever actually been gifted flowers before? It’s something everyone should experience, and sunflowers are the perfect all-purpose bloom.

He was in the building for “The Slam Heard ‘Round the World”

Your dad might not remember your friends’ names, his anniversary, or your younger sibling’s birthday, but he sure as hell remembers what the vibes were like in the Pontiac Silverdome during Wrestlemania III in 1987. For the man who’s been insisting that wrestling is, in fact, real for nearly 40 years, we’ve got just the thing. The latest merch from VICE Studios’ wrestling docuseries Dark Side of the Ring should allow him to broadcast his opinions on the sport to anyone in his immediate vicinity. If Monday Night RAW is appointment viewing in his house, then you’d be hard pressed to find a better gift.

Have a bitchin’ Father’s Day.

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