Baldness is a complex thing, because there are lots of different reasons to not have hair. Maybe you once had a luscious mane, but time has robbed you of it, or perhaps you’re dealing with illness and are in a phase of life where your hair is simply going to be short for a while. Maybe, you’ve decided that looking bald is simply very cool (true), and you’ve sacrificed whatever mid coiffure you had on a gambit that you might look even better without it. According to Larry David in an early episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, there’s even sectarian conflict among people who have little or no hair. “With all due respect, you are not bald,” he tells a no-hair-having police officer he encounters. “You have chosen to shave your hair. That’s a look that you’re cultivating to be fashionable, and we don’t really consider you part of the bald community.”
As someone who, almost 15 years ago, shaved off a waning ‘fro to go 100% bald, only to learn after a decade of shaving my head that my hairline had receded violently (yes, I’m fully aware that this is also literally the plot of a Seinfeld episode), it’s hard to know where I land in the eyes of “authentic” bald men like Larry David. That said, if David had the tools I have now, he might abandon his horseshoe of despair and choose the route of the cop he derided. In my opinion, being bald is great, and anybody who is bald—for truly any reason—is therefore very sexy and cool.
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Unless you’re going full My Dinner With Andre-era Wallace Shawn (aka: peak male hotness), you might be getting some kind of help looking good while bald. Whether you’re going straight razor (badass), safety razor, or just OTC Gillette-style (like I did for many years), you might be getting tired of dragging sharp blades across your head a couple times a week. I know I was. I long searched for a technological solution that was affordable and purportedly as good as OTC razors, but nothing seemed worthwhile. Then, I heard about the Pitbull Skull Shaver (no apparent relation to Mr. Worldwide). Naturally, I had to try it out.
Pitbull Gold PRO (opens in a new window)
Pitbull Platinum PRO (opens in a new window)
First impressions
Instead of the typical single flat razor, the Skull Shaver Pitbull PRO has four flexible shaving heads that float independently, meaning it can contour to the shape of your head. (Like, IDK if you’ve ever noticed this, but your head is not flat—it’s curved!) This is also the first head shaver I’ve tried that actually connects smoothly and fully with my head, while still offering the full power of a regular electric or flat razor. Part of the reason for this is that the Pitbull’s blades are made from hypo-allergenic Japanese stainless steel that are simply very good and strong; also, its ergonomic grip and concave base means you can either hold it comfortably in your fist or hold it sturdily between two straight fingers, basically allowing you to shave by rubbing your palm across your head.
Feel and functionality
The Pitbull’s features are just as good as its functionality. It boasts an excellent lithium ion battery that charges quickly and offers 90 minutes of cordless use, so if it takes you just a minute or two to polish that ol’ noggin, you’ll go months between charges. The Platinum version also comes with an attractive, plastic rinse stand; to clean the blades, you just run them in a couple inches of water for a few seconds, and they come out looking like new. You can also remove the blades and fully clean them, meaning they’re going to last a super long time, which makes this an even better investment. Oh, and you can use this bad boy wet or dry, meaning you can take it in the shower with you, or use it elsewhere, like at a baseball game or on public transit. My personal preference is dry—I found that it didn’t work as well in the shower.
On that note, it ran best when my hair was already pretty short, which is also true of a regular razor; so if your hair’s been growing for more than a week or so, I recommend doing a quick buzz—with James Harden’s beard trimmer, obviously—before firing up the Pitbull. The first couple times I tried the Pitbull, my hair was too long, so I thought it didn’t work, and almost wrote it off. When I tried it after buzzing, it delivered me back to cue ball glory. Who knew that “Pitbull ft. James Harden” would end up referring to my hygienic routine and not a hit reggaeton song?!!
The verdict
There are multiple Pitbull razors. I tried the Platinum, which has a travel lock function as well as the stand and a travel case; but the Gold is very similar and about half the price, so it’s hard not to recommend that one. Both razors use the brand’s patented Forte blades, i.e. its best option. They also have the same battery and a similar LED display, so IMO there’s no reason not to spring for the Gold (unless you really need the stand and a frankly pretty unsexy blue travel case). Either way, the thought of ditching old-school razors and embracing the future should be pretty exciting. Trying to get mistaken for Mr. Worldwide (or at least Vin Diesel) at the club? It starts here.
NGL, the Pitbull PRO head and face shaver has radically changed my shaving routine. Where I used to go straight for the razor, now I just run this bad boy across my scalp for a couple minutes and I’m good to go.
Gillette? Haven’t heard that name in years. I go by Pitbull ft. James Harden now.
Try the Skull Shaver Pitbull Pro on Amazon.
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