How would you want someone to break-up with you if it had to happen? Maybe it’s a caring phone call that’s conscious of giving you processing space. Maybe your soon-to-be ex is able to acknowledge their flaws, rather than talking down to you and criticising you when they end things? Maybe they tell you in private and let you decide what needs to happen next. Well, we wish you the best on that one. We hate to say it, but being broken up with in a thoughtful and supportive way isn’t a guarantee. A lot of people are awkward, angry and careless, which can result in a lot of messy endings to relationships both good, bad and ugly.Thankfully, plenty of people who have been the breaker-upper and didn’t do a good job are able to recognise where they went wrong. And even better, they told VICE what they did.“Couldn't face them, wrote a letter”.“Sent a 'why u obsessed’ meme.”“Never replied to him ever again.”“Over Snapchat, teen me, total bitch.”“Started avoiding and hiding from them.”“Took months to say it properly.”“Created Instagram of their shit cooking.”“Said ‘I'm kinda bored of you’.”“While we both had COVID.” “Moved stuff out. Didn't answer phone.”“Nigel Latta interrupted my break up.”“So, good news! I've met someone.”“Told him I was now lesbian.”“On the toilet, over the phone.”“While taking them for fine dining.”“After picking me up from airport.”“Half finished text during school break.”“Outside Te Papa with children watching.”“Maybe we don't renew our lease?”“Cheated on him as an excuse.”“Snapchat video, from someone else's phone.”“Walked into their work, dumped them.”“Text, he was on family vacation.’“Open mic speech, best mates wedding.”No one’s perfect. Lots of people have done a less than spectacular job at ending a relationship, and it doesn’t make you a bad person if you don’t get it right. But we can always do better.The best way to break-up with someone is to consider what it’s like to be in their shoes. Don’t be a dick because you’re too lazy or careless to do a good job. Be kind, try to see it from their perspective, and… avoid Snapchat.
Own the Feels is brought to you by #LoveBetter, a campaign funded by the Ministry for Social Development.LoveBetter Youthline support channels:Email: lovebetter@youthline.co.nzOr rangatahi can text lovebetter to 234https://check.areyouok.org.nz/Rachel Barker is a writer / producer at VICE NZ in Aotearoa.
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Here are some of the worst ways people in Aotearoa have ended things with someone. Don’t try this at home.
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Own the Feels is brought to you by #LoveBetter, a campaign funded by the Ministry for Social Development.LoveBetter Youthline support channels:Email: lovebetter@youthline.co.nzOr rangatahi can text lovebetter to 234https://check.areyouok.org.nz/Rachel Barker is a writer / producer at VICE NZ in Aotearoa.