This Coffee Subscription Will Keep You Caffeinated Enough to See the Face of God

Do you consider yourself a bit of a coffee connoisseur? Know your way around a morning brown? Do your friends think you’re the walking embodiment of those “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my morning coffee!” t-shirts you can buy off of Redbubble?

If you’re a flat white fiend who is constantly looking to broaden their horizons and/or consume enough daily caffeine to stop the heart of an African savanna elephant, then you might want to check out Thieves' speciality coffee subscription.

The Melbourne-based Thieves has been running a membership service where every month they’ll send out specially picked beans from a different Australian roaster. So not only will you be getting something special each month, but you’ll also be broadening your tastes of Australia’s coffee offerings.

Their previous batches have included speciality roasters like Stella and Criteria Coffee, along with bean big dogs like Rumble and Industry Beans.

Thieves has recently added a new capsule service to its subscription, which are Nespresso-compatible. So if you’re staunchly a pod-person who prefers convenience over the whole barista machine or stovetop process, now you have no excuse to not try something new. Because who has the time? Grinding beans is for the birds.

Pretty easy, actually. Just jump onto Thieves’ website, fill out its simple order form and you’ll be brewing a fresh cup in no time.

You can get your precious coffee delivery either every one, two or three months – with the option to pause, skip, change or cancel your order anytime.

The quantity of capsules per delivery starts at 10 and goes all the way up to 500 (depending on the frequency of your delivery). The subscriptions start at $15 per month and include free shipping throughout Australia.

Thieves also offers international postage, which is great news if you’re an Australian ex-pat who craves a cappuccino that tastes like home, or you want to try something beyond your usual local offerings.

I’ve had the brown dishwater that Americans call “coffee”. Take this as an opportunity to learn respect for yourself and your taste buds. Broaden your horizons.

If you’d sooner switch to decaf than be caught dead with a Nespresso machine, Thieves also offers the same service for its beans and grounds. Its bags range from 250g to 3kg, and you’re able to pick between both filter and espresso roasts. If you drink enough you’ll be able to vibrate through this plane of existence into the Backrooms.

You can check out Thieves’ coffee subscription here.